as i just polished off an entire box of locally made chocolate covered cherries (my FAVORITE) from my grandpa, and noticed that another $50 was taken from my checking account for the gym i have long ago forgotten the name of because i haven't been there in many many months but apparently still belong to...it occurred to me that it might in fact not be that my jeans are shrinking, but rather that i am growing. have grown. did grow.
balls.
it happens every year, without fail. in fact one time, when i lived down south, i came home for the holidays for about a week and when i returned to work, i casually mentioned in the nurses' station that i'd gained a bunch of weight over the holidays. well, everyone got kind of quiet and then started giggling. apparently, they all had noticed and had talked amongst themselves.
well, this year i'm going to do the same as i did that year and (no, not kill my coworkers) get after it.
we're starting a "biggest loser" competition at work on monday (jan 5). we're broken up into 3 teams of 5 so we're accountable to the other members on our team. we're going by total % body weight loss and we'll go for 8 wks. my plan is to go back onto weight watchers strictly and to actually go to my neglected gym. my teammembers are pretty tough...so i'll definitely be on the hook to lose some good weight.
i've been in kind of a funk the last few days. post-Christmas blues, plus i was scheduled to work all week (except new years day). i actually fell asleep on the couch at 6pm last night and didn't wake up until my usual time this morning. i had myself convinced that i had a mono tumor or something...but then when they told me that i didn't have to work tomorrow (new year's eve), so i get two days off in a row to go visit my family and have a real new year's celebration- i miraculously woke up and felt great!
so a few more marathon eating days with my family....then back to the grind and onto my new fitness and diet plan.
(i'm all cheer now, but just wait a week. the first few days of weight watchers are the worst. i'd just as soon as eat your fingers as shake your hand).
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
December 22
22. I can't believe it's already December 22.
well, i was going to try to find a sweet news article about people doing good for others in the name of Christmas spirit and holiday harmony. but i couldn't. :( so instead, here's a Christmas quote i like:
...which i take to help me remember that the food on thursday doesn't have to be perfect, the house doesn't have to be flawlessly cleaned, but the moments shared with families will be what we remember.
my favorite memories of Christmas are as follows:
1. my little sister totally buying that my uncle dressed up like santa was actually santa. and being thrilled that santa fixed her baby doll (replaced it with a new one) and put her under the tree.
2. after opening presents, fitting all 7 of my cousins on one small couch at grandma's because we couldn't stand being any farther apart from each other.
3. being on the lake at my grandparents, looking out at the frozen water (=ice, i suppose) and feeling warm and cozy inside. and eating the world's best pecan rolls. damn, those are good. also, i like how lavishly they dress their tree in tinsel. it is truly a sight to behold.
4. Christmas morning at my in-laws. padding upstairs in our pj's after my mother-in-law rings the sleigh bells (or something...that's what it sounds like anyway...maybe it's a kitchen timer..i'm always in a deep sleep so i don't know), signalling us that breakfast is ready and stockings should be gotten to. taking a picture in front of the tree every year...serving as a rememberance for my husband and i of all the years of our relationship.
5. Christmas at my parent's house (we usually celebrate this early so we can get to all the other many Christmases we have to celebrate with other family) with fancy hot chocolate and Christmas music and lots of laughing and teasing.
6. Our tradition of going to a movie Christmas night. see side bar for this one.
...i really do love this time of year. can get messy and forgotten in all the stress and pressure of the season. but it doesn't change that it's a time for honoring Jesus and a time for being with and loving up on family. that will be my mantra for the rest of the week. ("Jesus, family...good. Jesus, family....good.")
well, i was going to try to find a sweet news article about people doing good for others in the name of Christmas spirit and holiday harmony. but i couldn't. :( so instead, here's a Christmas quote i like:
"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things --
not the great occasions -- give off the greatest glow of happiness."
-Bob Hope
not the great occasions -- give off the greatest glow of happiness."
-Bob Hope
...which i take to help me remember that the food on thursday doesn't have to be perfect, the house doesn't have to be flawlessly cleaned, but the moments shared with families will be what we remember.
my favorite memories of Christmas are as follows:
1. my little sister totally buying that my uncle dressed up like santa was actually santa. and being thrilled that santa fixed her baby doll (replaced it with a new one) and put her under the tree.
2. after opening presents, fitting all 7 of my cousins on one small couch at grandma's because we couldn't stand being any farther apart from each other.
3. being on the lake at my grandparents, looking out at the frozen water (=ice, i suppose) and feeling warm and cozy inside. and eating the world's best pecan rolls. damn, those are good. also, i like how lavishly they dress their tree in tinsel. it is truly a sight to behold.
4. Christmas morning at my in-laws. padding upstairs in our pj's after my mother-in-law rings the sleigh bells (or something...that's what it sounds like anyway...maybe it's a kitchen timer..i'm always in a deep sleep so i don't know), signalling us that breakfast is ready and stockings should be gotten to. taking a picture in front of the tree every year...serving as a rememberance for my husband and i of all the years of our relationship.
5. Christmas at my parent's house (we usually celebrate this early so we can get to all the other many Christmases we have to celebrate with other family) with fancy hot chocolate and Christmas music and lots of laughing and teasing.
6. Our tradition of going to a movie Christmas night. see side bar for this one.
...i really do love this time of year. can get messy and forgotten in all the stress and pressure of the season. but it doesn't change that it's a time for honoring Jesus and a time for being with and loving up on family. that will be my mantra for the rest of the week. ("Jesus, family...good. Jesus, family....good.")
Saturday, December 20, 2008
December 19 and December 20
19, 20. Final Prep before Christmas...
..had a great work week. got back into the OR after nearly 2 wks on the floor, and it felt great. i'd missed it.
then last night i got together w/ a couple of my PA classmates, which is always a pleasure. i'm hoping that we maintain this bond over time...so far so good.
this weekend the BHE and i are tasked with cleaning our house, grocery shopping, and wrapping presents in preparation for Christmas here. we're having his family join us for Christmas since i'm scheduled to work both the 24th and 26th. this will be our first Christmas hosting and our my first Christmas not with my family...who we will go visit on the 26th.
the BHE has dug us out of heavy snow twice in the last couple days. and, as he is off for the next few weeks, he is making a great 'house husband' with all the cleaning and such he's been doing. it's awesome. i could get used to this.
all our gift shopping is done (mostly) and we're well on our way to being ready for next week.
so, for my in-laws we're making a semi traditional Christmas meal with ham and taters and such, with some added unusual and flavorful side dishes for us vegetarians.
what we're NOT making, is this traditional old English dish, or this traditional Who dish.
hope everyone is having a lovely, snowy weekend...
..had a great work week. got back into the OR after nearly 2 wks on the floor, and it felt great. i'd missed it.
then last night i got together w/ a couple of my PA classmates, which is always a pleasure. i'm hoping that we maintain this bond over time...so far so good.
this weekend the BHE and i are tasked with cleaning our house, grocery shopping, and wrapping presents in preparation for Christmas here. we're having his family join us for Christmas since i'm scheduled to work both the 24th and 26th. this will be our first Christmas hosting and our my first Christmas not with my family...who we will go visit on the 26th.
the BHE has dug us out of heavy snow twice in the last couple days. and, as he is off for the next few weeks, he is making a great 'house husband' with all the cleaning and such he's been doing. it's awesome. i could get used to this.
all our gift shopping is done (mostly) and we're well on our way to being ready for next week.
so, for my in-laws we're making a semi traditional Christmas meal with ham and taters and such, with some added unusual and flavorful side dishes for us vegetarians.
what we're NOT making, is this traditional old English dish, or this traditional Who dish.
hope everyone is having a lovely, snowy weekend...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
December 18
18. My favorite creepy date rape Christmas Carole....really gets you in the spirit
a brief history on the sinister ditty....written in 1944 (according to wikipedia, so it must be true), it was first performed by its composer, frank loesser, singing the male "the wolf" part and his wife on the female, "the mouse" part. it has made it into half a dozen movies and been recorded ad nauseum by many a pop star including bing crosby and doris day, ella fitzgerland and louis jordan (the version i grew up on), louise armstrong, ray charles, ann margret, and most recently and unfortunately, jessica simpson and nick lache.
it's a fun, upbeat song. kinda flirty and charming. BUT IT'S ALSO ABOUT COERCION. and possibly drugging. seriously, kids. if you're on a date and at the end of the evening you're trying to go home and the dialogue starts to go like this, kick him in the nuts and run.
so please enjoy (my editorialized version) of....
Baby, It's Cold Outside
I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour
(alcohol does wonders on inhibitions)
The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
(ROOFIES!)
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
(holding her stuff for ransom)
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
(he's moving closer anyway)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
(...against your better judgment)
Ahh, but it's cold outside
C'mon baby
I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
(i'll totally respect you in the morning)
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
(what....WHAT?)
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
(maidens are lame)
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before
I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
(and your pupils are really dilated)
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
(if you really loved me, you'd do it...)
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
(IS THAT A THREAT?)
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
(everybody's doing it)
Ahh, but it's cold outside
Baby it's cold outside
Brr its cold…
(it's damned near 50 degrees out there...)
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright
(clearly the roofies have had time to kick in)
Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again….
(oh, my, no...)
a brief history on the sinister ditty....written in 1944 (according to wikipedia, so it must be true), it was first performed by its composer, frank loesser, singing the male "the wolf" part and his wife on the female, "the mouse" part. it has made it into half a dozen movies and been recorded ad nauseum by many a pop star including bing crosby and doris day, ella fitzgerland and louis jordan (the version i grew up on), louise armstrong, ray charles, ann margret, and most recently and unfortunately, jessica simpson and nick lache.
it's a fun, upbeat song. kinda flirty and charming. BUT IT'S ALSO ABOUT COERCION. and possibly drugging. seriously, kids. if you're on a date and at the end of the evening you're trying to go home and the dialogue starts to go like this, kick him in the nuts and run.
so please enjoy (my editorialized version) of....
Baby, It's Cold Outside
I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour
(alcohol does wonders on inhibitions)
The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
(ROOFIES!)
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
(holding her stuff for ransom)
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
(he's moving closer anyway)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
(...against your better judgment)
Ahh, but it's cold outside
C'mon baby
I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
(i'll totally respect you in the morning)
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
(what....WHAT?)
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
(maidens are lame)
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before
I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
(and your pupils are really dilated)
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
(if you really loved me, you'd do it...)
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
(IS THAT A THREAT?)
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
(everybody's doing it)
Ahh, but it's cold outside
Baby it's cold outside
Brr its cold…
(it's damned near 50 degrees out there...)
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright
(clearly the roofies have had time to kick in)
Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again….
(oh, my, no...)
December 17
17. Merry Christmas from all of us child and animal deviants....
...the PA office at work is littered with pics of my co-workers' kids and animals all decked out for the holidays. a favorite this year is baby wearing only santa hat on head and garland discretely covering the bits and pieces. seriously, should i be reporting this? :)
...the PA office at work is littered with pics of my co-workers' kids and animals all decked out for the holidays. a favorite this year is baby wearing only santa hat on head and garland discretely covering the bits and pieces. seriously, should i be reporting this? :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
December 16
16. It's snowing buckets of cats and dogs and cliches....
my word. there are something like 3 new inches of snow on the ground tonight and it just keeps going. and out of almost nowhere it's colder than a well digger's ass.
BUT! it's almost Christmas. which is good. we're having a wee get together tomorrow night for some of our friends, so i'm baking cookies tonight and my spouse (best husband ever, ie= "The BHE") is cleaning the house. and will prolly wake up at 4am to shovel us out of our driveway. maybe i can convince him to walk just ahead of me on my way to work to keep the roads clear for me. maybe not.
anyway....if any of you are getting dumped on like we are, here's a tutorial that you might find helpful.
my word. there are something like 3 new inches of snow on the ground tonight and it just keeps going. and out of almost nowhere it's colder than a well digger's ass.
BUT! it's almost Christmas. which is good. we're having a wee get together tomorrow night for some of our friends, so i'm baking cookies tonight and my spouse (best husband ever, ie= "The BHE") is cleaning the house. and will prolly wake up at 4am to shovel us out of our driveway. maybe i can convince him to walk just ahead of me on my way to work to keep the roads clear for me. maybe not.
anyway....if any of you are getting dumped on like we are, here's a tutorial that you might find helpful.
Monday, December 15, 2008
December 15
15. A Haiku on the Topic of Mistletoe...
Lean in for a kiss,
Go ahead, slip him some tongue,
Christmas time is great.
Lean in for a kiss,
Go ahead, slip him some tongue,
Christmas time is great.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
December 14
14. The Former Mrs. President and the Eternal Mr. T...
i think i've shown this one before, but it is priceless, wouldn't you say?
i think i've shown this one before, but it is priceless, wouldn't you say?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
December 13
13. And this is me this morning....
it was a nice party. it's put on by the surgeons for all of the OR. good food, plenty of boozin' and lots of door prizes. historically, spouses were not invited, and there were many scandals that people still whisper about. but this year things seemed pretty low key. no one had lit anything on fire or streaked across the room or anything when we left at 10pm. i'll find out on monday if i missed anything juicy after we left.
i'm feeling more and more a part of the group. this last couple weeks has just been fun at work. i love being on the floor and following patients over time. getting to know them and managing them medically...it's fun for me. and then usually getting to scrub for a short while in the afternoons. it's a nice variety. but my floor work is over and i'm heading back to the OR next week. i'll rotate back onto floors in another few months. on the next schedule i'll also start taking call and working afternoon shifts and all the other dubious honors that mean i'm official now. :)
plus, did i mention that i had a mini nervous breakdown this week? my house being a mess, not having decorated yet, etc, etc....it all caught up with me and i freaked out with fatigue and the stress of constantly being on the go and never having any time at home. so, regrettably, i'm missing out on a fun event with my parents and some time w/ my extended family. but happily, i'm checking items off my to-do list here at home. sigh. holiday time chaos got me again, i guess. :)
it was a nice party. it's put on by the surgeons for all of the OR. good food, plenty of boozin' and lots of door prizes. historically, spouses were not invited, and there were many scandals that people still whisper about. but this year things seemed pretty low key. no one had lit anything on fire or streaked across the room or anything when we left at 10pm. i'll find out on monday if i missed anything juicy after we left.
i'm feeling more and more a part of the group. this last couple weeks has just been fun at work. i love being on the floor and following patients over time. getting to know them and managing them medically...it's fun for me. and then usually getting to scrub for a short while in the afternoons. it's a nice variety. but my floor work is over and i'm heading back to the OR next week. i'll rotate back onto floors in another few months. on the next schedule i'll also start taking call and working afternoon shifts and all the other dubious honors that mean i'm official now. :)
plus, did i mention that i had a mini nervous breakdown this week? my house being a mess, not having decorated yet, etc, etc....it all caught up with me and i freaked out with fatigue and the stress of constantly being on the go and never having any time at home. so, regrettably, i'm missing out on a fun event with my parents and some time w/ my extended family. but happily, i'm checking items off my to-do list here at home. sigh. holiday time chaos got me again, i guess. :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
December 11
11. Siskel and Ebert looking HOT in those 80's glasses, jackets, and hair talking about " A Christmas Story"....i think the movie caught on after all. They show it 24 hrs straight on Christmas.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
December 10
10. Happy Happy Joy Joy
....enjoy the below recipe. i made it for my coworkers the other day (that's right, a little sucking up, what's it to you?) and everyone raved about it. i found it on allrecipes.com, which i use a lot. you can use the mint kisses for the center (it took some effort to find them) or now i see that they're making a new candy cane flavored kiss, which would be good, too. and the best thing is- apparently you can't ruin them! i tried. i no longer have a kitchen timer, so when i forgot these in the oven and left them in not for the 8-10 minutes the recipe recommends, but rather for an impressive 24 minutes...it didn't ruin them at all, they still were delicious!
in other good news...i got my new car last night. i bought a shiny used VW passat wagon with leather interior and heated seats and all kinds of swanky features. it's nice and roomy and we got a great deal. i giggled the whole way driving home. i told my husband i feel like i stole some rich lady's car. :) AND THEN my night just got better. i went to look for a dress to wear to the hospital holiday party friday night and i found a short black calvin klein party dress for $16. what luck! my only concern is that my body is covered in red marks from scratching the eczema that i always get when the climate is drier than a popcorn fart like it is right now...but i think a little TLC and black hose will do the job. tra-la!
Magical Mint Cookies
....enjoy the below recipe. i made it for my coworkers the other day (that's right, a little sucking up, what's it to you?) and everyone raved about it. i found it on allrecipes.com, which i use a lot. you can use the mint kisses for the center (it took some effort to find them) or now i see that they're making a new candy cane flavored kiss, which would be good, too. and the best thing is- apparently you can't ruin them! i tried. i no longer have a kitchen timer, so when i forgot these in the oven and left them in not for the 8-10 minutes the recipe recommends, but rather for an impressive 24 minutes...it didn't ruin them at all, they still were delicious!
in other good news...i got my new car last night. i bought a shiny used VW passat wagon with leather interior and heated seats and all kinds of swanky features. it's nice and roomy and we got a great deal. i giggled the whole way driving home. i told my husband i feel like i stole some rich lady's car. :) AND THEN my night just got better. i went to look for a dress to wear to the hospital holiday party friday night and i found a short black calvin klein party dress for $16. what luck! my only concern is that my body is covered in red marks from scratching the eczema that i always get when the climate is drier than a popcorn fart like it is right now...but i think a little TLC and black hose will do the job. tra-la!
Magical Mint Cookies
- 1 cup butter or margarine
- 2/3 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/4 cup HERSHEY®'S Cocoa or HERSHEY®'S Dutch Processed Cocoa
- 48 HERSHEY®'S KISSES® Mint Chocolates, unwrapped
- powdered sugar
DIRECTIONS
- Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Beat butter, sugar and vanilla in large bowl until creamy. Stir together flour and cocoa; gradually add to butter mixture, beating until blended. Mold scant tablespoon dough around each chocolate piece, covering completely. Shape into balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
- Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until set. cool about 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. Roll in Powdered sugar. Roll in sugar again just before serving, if desired.
Monday, December 8, 2008
December 9
9. For all you little boys out there....
when we were shopping in alexandria this weekend we went to a very upscale bead and jewelery shop. they had everything required to make any type of dangly pretty thing from pearls to crystals to precious stones. and they had some fun ones for kids, too. animal and fruit and veggie bobbles, etc. needless to say, my very mature and responsible husband was found playing with the merchandise in a most creative and obscene manner. (see below). right now he's hollering in the background "make sure you tell them that i left them like that for the next customers to see!" so, my apologies, rich women of virginia. i can't take him anywhere.
when we were shopping in alexandria this weekend we went to a very upscale bead and jewelery shop. they had everything required to make any type of dangly pretty thing from pearls to crystals to precious stones. and they had some fun ones for kids, too. animal and fruit and veggie bobbles, etc. needless to say, my very mature and responsible husband was found playing with the merchandise in a most creative and obscene manner. (see below). right now he's hollering in the background "make sure you tell them that i left them like that for the next customers to see!" so, my apologies, rich women of virginia. i can't take him anywhere.
December 8
8. A Christmas Haiku on the topic of elves...
Elves
Elves are so playful
Twinkling, dancing merrily
Might pee in your shoe.
Elves
Elves are so playful
Twinkling, dancing merrily
Might pee in your shoe.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
December 7
7. The National Christmas Tree, Washington DC...
....which is right next to the White House. not a great picture, but if you look really closely, you might be able to see some snipers! (we didn't see any, but we were taking bets on whether or not they were going to pick off any of the annoying kids tap dancing to "santa baby" on the stage set up by the tree).
....which is right next to the White House. not a great picture, but if you look really closely, you might be able to see some snipers! (we didn't see any, but we were taking bets on whether or not they were going to pick off any of the annoying kids tap dancing to "santa baby" on the stage set up by the tree).
Saturday, December 6, 2008
December 5
5. With a corn cob pipe and a button nose....
..sorry i was late on this one. last night we left for a little get away weekend to washington DC to visit some friends and family. today we'll be checking out the Christmas decorations and national tree down on the mall as well as shopping and eating amazing food at my cousin's fancy restaurant. cannot wait!
..sorry i was late on this one. last night we left for a little get away weekend to washington DC to visit some friends and family. today we'll be checking out the Christmas decorations and national tree down on the mall as well as shopping and eating amazing food at my cousin's fancy restaurant. cannot wait!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
December 3
A Politically Correct Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
-Author unknown
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
-Author unknown
Monday, December 1, 2008
December 2
2. Happy Birthday today to Britney Spears-Federline-Spears!! Back in the days of wine and roses and afros and real boobs before they were "Brit Brit" and "JT".... And, because I think it's a cool video and because I think her story is truly a miracle of pop culture, her new hit, "Womanizer" for you to enjoy. Please note that this video is not for all eyes to consume. It has some...adult content (neked people!).
by the way, for anyone curious...i went to employee health today and so far so good. all tests have come back negative. i'll have to get another HIV test in 6 months. but otherwise, i'm feeling pretty fine.
and i did more vascular today. and it went pretty well. i enjoy it and am getting better at it. tomorrow i start on the floor, rounding on post-op patients. writing prescriptions in my name for the first time, etc. yikes.
and my car is dead, dead, dead. apparently something actually blew a hole in the engine. so we're shopping around for something a little bigger, nicer, newer. and since i've already started paying off loans and Christmas is coming up, our budget is about 36 dollars. so we'll see how that goes....
:)
by the way, for anyone curious...i went to employee health today and so far so good. all tests have come back negative. i'll have to get another HIV test in 6 months. but otherwise, i'm feeling pretty fine.
and i did more vascular today. and it went pretty well. i enjoy it and am getting better at it. tomorrow i start on the floor, rounding on post-op patients. writing prescriptions in my name for the first time, etc. yikes.
and my car is dead, dead, dead. apparently something actually blew a hole in the engine. so we're shopping around for something a little bigger, nicer, newer. and since i've already started paying off loans and Christmas is coming up, our budget is about 36 dollars. so we'll see how that goes....
:)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving to All!
What Extreme Carnivores Ate This Thanksgiving (The "Turducken"):
What Normal People Ate This Thanksgiving (The turkey):
What We Tree Hugger Hippies Ate This Thanksgiving (The Turk'y Roast by Quorn):
...hey, don't knock it 'til you try it. it tastes surprisingly like the real deal. the main ingredient in it is "mycoprotein" which is a fungi-based high protein, high fiber, low fat substance. there's other delectable things in the ingredient list like tapioca and pea fiber.
delicious.
What Normal People Ate This Thanksgiving (The turkey):
What We Tree Hugger Hippies Ate This Thanksgiving (The Turk'y Roast by Quorn):
...hey, don't knock it 'til you try it. it tastes surprisingly like the real deal. the main ingredient in it is "mycoprotein" which is a fungi-based high protein, high fiber, low fat substance. there's other delectable things in the ingredient list like tapioca and pea fiber.
delicious.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I Got Poked.
and not in the woo-hoo sense. but rather in the way that i got stuck w/ a bloody needle while sewing with another PA on a knee case yesterday.
it's a drag. bound to happen sooner or later...since we work w/ sharp objects in close proximity to each other...it happens to everyone...but it sucks because then both the patient's and my blood has to be tested for all flavors of infectious diseases (Hepatitis(es), HIV, etc) and now i have to worry about the slim possibility that i actually picked something up from the patient. and in order to give a blood sample, i had to go down to the freaking ER at the hospital in the middle of the day and wait 30 minutes with all the plebs. me, in my surgical cap, booties on my feet, and scrubs next to the 4 year old with snot running down his face and the 150 year old asking everyone who passed by for a cracker.
sigh.
and next week i have to go to employee health to have a meeting where they reveal to me if the patient did in fact show positive for any of the scary diseases and if so, how i'd go about getting treated for them.
fun, fun.
thankfully, according to the history the patient provided, he seemed pretty domestic and conservative and did not reveal anything like time spent in ghana, full body tattooing, S&M tendencies, or partiality toward shooting heroine.
but you never know.
this is more of an annoyance to me than anything. i knew it would happen eventually. it's almost happened a few times before. we take every precaution in the world not to get stuck by a knife or a needle or cautery or anything, but i've seen it happen a half dozen times to other people since i've started. (for the record, i just witnessed these events, i did not in fact stab any of these people). it's just a matter of course when working with sharps. and i know the statistics and how unlikely it is that anything will be transmitted to me.
plus, i guess i take kind of a fatalistic attitude about this. i work in health care around very sick, infective people. i've been fitted for a airtight mask in the event that i am treating a TB patient or there's a germ warfare outbreak or something. when people encounter horrible, deadly things, where's the first place they go? the hospital. and who takes care of them? we do. (most especially if there's obvious boils or rotting limbs- this would be a time when the MD would cheerfully send the PA to the front line). so we do the best we can to compulsively wash our hands and stay clear of obvious sources of infections, but there's only so much you can do and fear before you make yourself nuts.
so that's my story for the week.
off to eat obscene amounts of delicious food tomorrow. after revealing to my family what i just told you, i bet no one will want to share a glass with me. they might even make me sit at the kids' table by myself in the next room. :(
("hello, guys? anyone? can you pass the potatoes? a little help? i just wanted to let you know that on this thanksgiving, i'm thankful for you, my family. hello? i said, I'M THANKFUL FOR YOU! oh...never mind....")
it's a drag. bound to happen sooner or later...since we work w/ sharp objects in close proximity to each other...it happens to everyone...but it sucks because then both the patient's and my blood has to be tested for all flavors of infectious diseases (Hepatitis(es), HIV, etc) and now i have to worry about the slim possibility that i actually picked something up from the patient. and in order to give a blood sample, i had to go down to the freaking ER at the hospital in the middle of the day and wait 30 minutes with all the plebs. me, in my surgical cap, booties on my feet, and scrubs next to the 4 year old with snot running down his face and the 150 year old asking everyone who passed by for a cracker.
sigh.
and next week i have to go to employee health to have a meeting where they reveal to me if the patient did in fact show positive for any of the scary diseases and if so, how i'd go about getting treated for them.
fun, fun.
thankfully, according to the history the patient provided, he seemed pretty domestic and conservative and did not reveal anything like time spent in ghana, full body tattooing, S&M tendencies, or partiality toward shooting heroine.
but you never know.
this is more of an annoyance to me than anything. i knew it would happen eventually. it's almost happened a few times before. we take every precaution in the world not to get stuck by a knife or a needle or cautery or anything, but i've seen it happen a half dozen times to other people since i've started. (for the record, i just witnessed these events, i did not in fact stab any of these people). it's just a matter of course when working with sharps. and i know the statistics and how unlikely it is that anything will be transmitted to me.
plus, i guess i take kind of a fatalistic attitude about this. i work in health care around very sick, infective people. i've been fitted for a airtight mask in the event that i am treating a TB patient or there's a germ warfare outbreak or something. when people encounter horrible, deadly things, where's the first place they go? the hospital. and who takes care of them? we do. (most especially if there's obvious boils or rotting limbs- this would be a time when the MD would cheerfully send the PA to the front line). so we do the best we can to compulsively wash our hands and stay clear of obvious sources of infections, but there's only so much you can do and fear before you make yourself nuts.
so that's my story for the week.
off to eat obscene amounts of delicious food tomorrow. after revealing to my family what i just told you, i bet no one will want to share a glass with me. they might even make me sit at the kids' table by myself in the next room. :(
("hello, guys? anyone? can you pass the potatoes? a little help? i just wanted to let you know that on this thanksgiving, i'm thankful for you, my family. hello? i said, I'M THANKFUL FOR YOU! oh...never mind....")
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Good Time for Good News.
tired. brain hurts. but it's been too long since we've talked and i wanted to drop you an update.
so as i mentioned earlier, things are bad financially for our hospital. everyone is in an uproar. they're announcing a bunch of cost cutting measures like eliminating our extra overtime pay and a variety of employee programs and benefits. but we all still have jobs and our salaries aren't being cut. (which can't be said for some of the execs and in-house MD's-yikes!). so we're losing some benefits and some morale, and we have to get used to living low on the piglet instead of high on the hog for a while...but it'll be alright.
and...it's dark and cold out and i wear 3-4 coats at any given time to try to stay warm and am threatening (again) to let all my body hair grow long and shaggy and gain 20 lbs to provide myself a little extra insulation. (my husband finds that joke heelarious, i assure you).
but everything will be fine. the poverty of the nation and the unfriendly weather cannot really phase me today. because today i passed a very important goal. i eventually didn't totally suck at a pretty tricky surgery.
so, here's the thing...i have to be able to be competent assisting in every major type of general surgery before i can take call. and my 'orientation' period is practically up when i will go before my boss and be assessed on my progress and asset as an employee, and it will be determined if i am ready to be solely on my own and able to take night call (finally making me a productive member of the department, an integral part of the team).
so one of the types of surgery that i need to be good at, and that is considered one of the most challenging, is vascular. it's very demanding and particular and each tiny move can be disastrous, since you're playing with people's major vessels and all. it also so happens that the vascular surgeons at MBH are rather...tricky personalities. so it's important that i build the skillz but also that i have the trust of the MD's to provide the needed help in those ruptured aorta moments in the middle of the night when i'm on call.
so, to build said skill(with a "z!") and said trust yesterday i was scheduled to scrub w/ another PA on 2 carotid cases with one of the vascular surgeons. (carotid arteries, when filled w/ plaque can lead to strokes, so when they're over something like 80% occluded, you go in, open the carotid, and take the plaque out, then sew them back up. pretty routine, but also pretty dangerous if not done meticulously, as you can imagine). the goal was for me to 1st assist on the cases and so prove my independence, with the other PA just being there for backup if i needed them.
well...midway through the first case, the surgeon wasn't satisfied w/ my knot tying skills and so yelled and made me give up my position to the other PA. when the case was over, i did not cry or anything, but was pretty down in the dumps and the PA told me to give the doc some space and not to come back for the second case. but i'm bull headed and wanted to prove that i wasn't giving up, so i scrubbed the second one, too. the doc eventually softened to me a little and after the second case he demonstrated what he wants and gave me some good pointers. so in an attempt to show him my interest and desire to improve (i really do love vascular and want to be good, dagnammit), i told him that i would practice my knot tying skills and that the next time he saw me he would be "very impressed."
so, naturally, last night before i went home, when i looked at the assignments for today, what am i scheduled for? same surgery. same doctor. so all last night...in the car, at bible study, while watching TV, in my sleep...i practiced knot tying. and i didn't sleep much last night, tossing and turning (and tying). i kind of knew that if i blew it today, it might not bode well for my job. and certainly not w/ my future w/ this doc. and most definitely not w/ my aspirations to be an awesome vascular surgery PA.
but it went pretty well. i had a PA scrub w/ me on the first case, and the whole room kind of held its collective breath while i showed him my knot tying. but when it didn't completely suck, i just kept going and i finished the whole case as 1st assist. so then we did a little minor fistula surgery....and then we had another carotid. and i did it ALL. BY. MYSELF. and it also went pretty well. not awesome. i have tons of room to improve. not sure if i would consider him "very impressed," but it was alright. and i'm pleased. and i'm just really glad i didn't back down or panic and run into the woods (as i considered briefly in one dark moment yesterday). i showed that i have the desire and am teachable and that eventually i will be a good help.
and now if you'll excuse me, i need to go drink.
so as i mentioned earlier, things are bad financially for our hospital. everyone is in an uproar. they're announcing a bunch of cost cutting measures like eliminating our extra overtime pay and a variety of employee programs and benefits. but we all still have jobs and our salaries aren't being cut. (which can't be said for some of the execs and in-house MD's-yikes!). so we're losing some benefits and some morale, and we have to get used to living low on the piglet instead of high on the hog for a while...but it'll be alright.
and...it's dark and cold out and i wear 3-4 coats at any given time to try to stay warm and am threatening (again) to let all my body hair grow long and shaggy and gain 20 lbs to provide myself a little extra insulation. (my husband finds that joke heelarious, i assure you).
but everything will be fine. the poverty of the nation and the unfriendly weather cannot really phase me today. because today i passed a very important goal. i eventually didn't totally suck at a pretty tricky surgery.
so, here's the thing...i have to be able to be competent assisting in every major type of general surgery before i can take call. and my 'orientation' period is practically up when i will go before my boss and be assessed on my progress and asset as an employee, and it will be determined if i am ready to be solely on my own and able to take night call (finally making me a productive member of the department, an integral part of the team).
so one of the types of surgery that i need to be good at, and that is considered one of the most challenging, is vascular. it's very demanding and particular and each tiny move can be disastrous, since you're playing with people's major vessels and all. it also so happens that the vascular surgeons at MBH are rather...tricky personalities. so it's important that i build the skillz but also that i have the trust of the MD's to provide the needed help in those ruptured aorta moments in the middle of the night when i'm on call.
so, to build said skill(with a "z!") and said trust yesterday i was scheduled to scrub w/ another PA on 2 carotid cases with one of the vascular surgeons. (carotid arteries, when filled w/ plaque can lead to strokes, so when they're over something like 80% occluded, you go in, open the carotid, and take the plaque out, then sew them back up. pretty routine, but also pretty dangerous if not done meticulously, as you can imagine). the goal was for me to 1st assist on the cases and so prove my independence, with the other PA just being there for backup if i needed them.
well...midway through the first case, the surgeon wasn't satisfied w/ my knot tying skills and so yelled and made me give up my position to the other PA. when the case was over, i did not cry or anything, but was pretty down in the dumps and the PA told me to give the doc some space and not to come back for the second case. but i'm bull headed and wanted to prove that i wasn't giving up, so i scrubbed the second one, too. the doc eventually softened to me a little and after the second case he demonstrated what he wants and gave me some good pointers. so in an attempt to show him my interest and desire to improve (i really do love vascular and want to be good, dagnammit), i told him that i would practice my knot tying skills and that the next time he saw me he would be "very impressed."
so, naturally, last night before i went home, when i looked at the assignments for today, what am i scheduled for? same surgery. same doctor. so all last night...in the car, at bible study, while watching TV, in my sleep...i practiced knot tying. and i didn't sleep much last night, tossing and turning (and tying). i kind of knew that if i blew it today, it might not bode well for my job. and certainly not w/ my future w/ this doc. and most definitely not w/ my aspirations to be an awesome vascular surgery PA.
but it went pretty well. i had a PA scrub w/ me on the first case, and the whole room kind of held its collective breath while i showed him my knot tying. but when it didn't completely suck, i just kept going and i finished the whole case as 1st assist. so then we did a little minor fistula surgery....and then we had another carotid. and i did it ALL. BY. MYSELF. and it also went pretty well. not awesome. i have tons of room to improve. not sure if i would consider him "very impressed," but it was alright. and i'm pleased. and i'm just really glad i didn't back down or panic and run into the woods (as i considered briefly in one dark moment yesterday). i showed that i have the desire and am teachable and that eventually i will be a good help.
and now if you'll excuse me, i need to go drink.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
"I Promise that My Personal Tragedy Will Not Interfere with My Ability to Do Good Hair"
so i'm feeling kind of down in the dumps. just blah. the weather turned cold and gray blocking out any shred of sunlight...which always spirals my mood down the drain. i just kind of want to be curled up at home under a blanket on the couch all the time.
i did get off the couch this weekend and went to our double wedding extravaganza. my classmate's wedding was awesome. they're precious and put together a really nice ceremony and reception. and my coworker's reception (that's all we made it to after the first wedding, just the tail end of it) was great, too. it was nice to spend some outside of work time w/ my coworkers. although, i'm still a bit nervous and trying to impress them. my husband met them all for the first time, too. which was fun, but i was then also nervous that he impress them, also...in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have let him wear those ass-less chaps. :)
and, since i'm still totally absorbed with work, my moods fluctuate depending on how that's going. and i find that hard to evaluate. i feel like a dumb ass everyday. but i think that's how it's supposed to be and not because things are going actually badly. for example, i picked up a defibrillator by the paddles today, almost dropping it on my foot. nice. and i apparently don't know how to staple or suction or hold suture. and this is all just today. don't get me started.
i think honestly that it's mostly the weather making me feel this way. i always get into a winter funk. at least the price of gas went down so i can afford to keep my house balmy to fake myself into thinking it's summery weather. while i'm sitting inside on the couch.
anyone know that quote in the title line of this post without looking it up on the interweb? who said it and what movie is it in? 10 points if you know it.
i did get off the couch this weekend and went to our double wedding extravaganza. my classmate's wedding was awesome. they're precious and put together a really nice ceremony and reception. and my coworker's reception (that's all we made it to after the first wedding, just the tail end of it) was great, too. it was nice to spend some outside of work time w/ my coworkers. although, i'm still a bit nervous and trying to impress them. my husband met them all for the first time, too. which was fun, but i was then also nervous that he impress them, also...in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have let him wear those ass-less chaps. :)
and, since i'm still totally absorbed with work, my moods fluctuate depending on how that's going. and i find that hard to evaluate. i feel like a dumb ass everyday. but i think that's how it's supposed to be and not because things are going actually badly. for example, i picked up a defibrillator by the paddles today, almost dropping it on my foot. nice. and i apparently don't know how to staple or suction or hold suture. and this is all just today. don't get me started.
i think honestly that it's mostly the weather making me feel this way. i always get into a winter funk. at least the price of gas went down so i can afford to keep my house balmy to fake myself into thinking it's summery weather. while i'm sitting inside on the couch.
anyone know that quote in the title line of this post without looking it up on the interweb? who said it and what movie is it in? 10 points if you know it.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Mr. Obama, You Can Fix This, Right?
in case you live under a rock and haven't heard, there's soon to be a new feller in the white house after an election for el presidente de los estados unidos a few days ago. and he's got big plans for health care. it's pretty universally agreed that health care in this country is a giant money pit and even w/ all the debt it's creating, only a small percentage of people are covered. and so in turn the hospitals are going bankrupt trying to treat people who can't pay and then doctors are fleeing inner cities to go practice in the greener pastures of the suburbs, etc, etc.
and even though the hospital i work for, MBH, seems to have more money than God, it's tightening its belt a lot in this tough time. enough to make all of us worry about our jobs. other local hospitals in the past, when in an economic crunch, have wiped out all of their in-house PA's...MBH has never had a need...but now we're worried. and even if they're able to keep us, they're boosting our productivity by expanding our work load and requiring us to cover 24-7 shifts and such. in this economy, i'm just pretty glad to have a job...but things are shaping up to be a lot different than when i hired in. and now there's a hiring freeze, so i will be the FNG (f'ing new guy) for a long time to come. meaning all holidays and crappy shifts will be mine for as long as i'm low man on the totem pole.
sigh. but i really am mostly just glad to have a job that i like, even if we go through the projected changes and it means i'm working more and all that.
but i'm still whining in my head about all these things yeserday when i talked to a nurse who just returned from a medical missions trip to africa. she gave me a little bit of perspective. she went with a few cardiothoracic surgeons and they were doing open heart surgery- valve replacements on little kids and adults alike, coronary artery grafting, etc. and she told stories about the hospital being so poor that the surgeons occasionally had to operate by candle light when the generators blew. and when it got cold at night without the heat provided by the generators, the nurses would crawl in bed with the patients to provide them body heat. she had many examples like these.
so while our system is terribly broken and not everyone is getting the care that they need and that care might be hanging by a thread and deeply in the red...we have it pretty good.
i am curious to see what the 'future of health care' might be. one of my parents' conservative friends asked me after the election if i was looking forward to having a government job soon. :) so clearly, we're guaranteed lots of lively conversation on the subject from people on all sides of the issue.
off to get stuff done. this has been a completely crazy week. we've been gone a lot and our house looks like a wild boar let loose in it and tore all the clothes out of our dresser drawers and threw them on the floor and made all kinds of dirty dishes in the kitchen and...it was a very destructive boar. let's just say that.
and today we have not one but TWO weddings to attend, so in addition to cleaning the house i have to look all spiffy. grumble.
laters, loves.
and even though the hospital i work for, MBH, seems to have more money than God, it's tightening its belt a lot in this tough time. enough to make all of us worry about our jobs. other local hospitals in the past, when in an economic crunch, have wiped out all of their in-house PA's...MBH has never had a need...but now we're worried. and even if they're able to keep us, they're boosting our productivity by expanding our work load and requiring us to cover 24-7 shifts and such. in this economy, i'm just pretty glad to have a job...but things are shaping up to be a lot different than when i hired in. and now there's a hiring freeze, so i will be the FNG (f'ing new guy) for a long time to come. meaning all holidays and crappy shifts will be mine for as long as i'm low man on the totem pole.
sigh. but i really am mostly just glad to have a job that i like, even if we go through the projected changes and it means i'm working more and all that.
but i'm still whining in my head about all these things yeserday when i talked to a nurse who just returned from a medical missions trip to africa. she gave me a little bit of perspective. she went with a few cardiothoracic surgeons and they were doing open heart surgery- valve replacements on little kids and adults alike, coronary artery grafting, etc. and she told stories about the hospital being so poor that the surgeons occasionally had to operate by candle light when the generators blew. and when it got cold at night without the heat provided by the generators, the nurses would crawl in bed with the patients to provide them body heat. she had many examples like these.
so while our system is terribly broken and not everyone is getting the care that they need and that care might be hanging by a thread and deeply in the red...we have it pretty good.
i am curious to see what the 'future of health care' might be. one of my parents' conservative friends asked me after the election if i was looking forward to having a government job soon. :) so clearly, we're guaranteed lots of lively conversation on the subject from people on all sides of the issue.
off to get stuff done. this has been a completely crazy week. we've been gone a lot and our house looks like a wild boar let loose in it and tore all the clothes out of our dresser drawers and threw them on the floor and made all kinds of dirty dishes in the kitchen and...it was a very destructive boar. let's just say that.
and today we have not one but TWO weddings to attend, so in addition to cleaning the house i have to look all spiffy. grumble.
laters, loves.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
What Did You Do Today?
oh really? that's nice. cuz i built a house. :)
isn't that why people do volunteer work? so they can feel smug? i thought so.
my husband and i did 8 hrs with habitat for humanity today. he put a roof on and i helped hang pre-siding stuff and organized the storage area. it was cool. the way that habitat works is that the future home owners take part in the construction (sweat equity hours plus a small mortgage once they're in the house for all the parts and such is their commitment to get a brand new house) and so they were there with their friends today along with a bunch of us volunteers and habitat employees. we were working on two houses at once. it's a really neat, community-embracing effort. if you've never done it, i would certainly recommend it.
and it attracts all sorts of do-gooders (like me, for sure) like medical students. there was a pack of about 10 1st year med students from our local big ass university (BAU). i noticed today and have observed in the past regarding med students that they're mostly all 23 yr old nerds/brown nosers and are sort of clueless about life. i overheard one itty bitty tiny 80lb one say "that lady told me to get water for everybody, but i don't know how to do it, so i'm just going to help over here." she will be torn apart when she pulls that kind of thing with an MD in the hospital. ("they told me to get the crash cart for that patient over there who is, like, dying or something, but i didn't know where it was...so i grabbed this stapler instead.") someone will just snap her into two 40lb pieces.
i mean, i'm sure that the individual families of these children/future docs are really proud of them and feeling secure in their future and all, but they often don't start out inspiring a whole lot of confidence.
and i'll stop with the tirade now. i sound so old. anyone who might be reading this who is a first or second year med student, please disregard my angry old lady PA mutterings.
halloween was fun. we passed out candy (that which we had not eaten ourselves- so we got to about 6 kids before we had to turn the front light out and start shouting "GO AWAY" when they approached our house) and had some friends over to drink mulled wine and play board games.
i'm tired and sore from a hard day of hating on med students...and hauling lumbar...so i'm off. but please enjoy a tribute to michael jackson's 25th anniversary of "thriller." this might be the weirdest/funniest thing i've ever seen.
isn't that why people do volunteer work? so they can feel smug? i thought so.
my husband and i did 8 hrs with habitat for humanity today. he put a roof on and i helped hang pre-siding stuff and organized the storage area. it was cool. the way that habitat works is that the future home owners take part in the construction (sweat equity hours plus a small mortgage once they're in the house for all the parts and such is their commitment to get a brand new house) and so they were there with their friends today along with a bunch of us volunteers and habitat employees. we were working on two houses at once. it's a really neat, community-embracing effort. if you've never done it, i would certainly recommend it.
and it attracts all sorts of do-gooders (like me, for sure) like medical students. there was a pack of about 10 1st year med students from our local big ass university (BAU). i noticed today and have observed in the past regarding med students that they're mostly all 23 yr old nerds/brown nosers and are sort of clueless about life. i overheard one itty bitty tiny 80lb one say "that lady told me to get water for everybody, but i don't know how to do it, so i'm just going to help over here." she will be torn apart when she pulls that kind of thing with an MD in the hospital. ("they told me to get the crash cart for that patient over there who is, like, dying or something, but i didn't know where it was...so i grabbed this stapler instead.") someone will just snap her into two 40lb pieces.
i mean, i'm sure that the individual families of these children/future docs are really proud of them and feeling secure in their future and all, but they often don't start out inspiring a whole lot of confidence.
and i'll stop with the tirade now. i sound so old. anyone who might be reading this who is a first or second year med student, please disregard my angry old lady PA mutterings.
halloween was fun. we passed out candy (that which we had not eaten ourselves- so we got to about 6 kids before we had to turn the front light out and start shouting "GO AWAY" when they approached our house) and had some friends over to drink mulled wine and play board games.
i'm tired and sore from a hard day of hating on med students...and hauling lumbar...so i'm off. but please enjoy a tribute to michael jackson's 25th anniversary of "thriller." this might be the weirdest/funniest thing i've ever seen.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What??
so i worked with one of the chief administrator doctors today, who also happens to be one of the "butt boys" and we did a, well you know, fairly unpleasant and compromising case together (as these butt cases tend to go)...but he was SO nice. he kept saying things like, "you're all doing a great job." and "anyone need a break? is your hand getting tired?" i almost dropped the instrument i was holding when he asked that. i couldn't even believe it. it's like he missed the memo. or somehow opted out of the "Navigating the OR as King Rat: A Surgeon's Guide to Intimidating the Peons" class at Man's Best University. every once in a while you run into a doc who totally doesn't fit the mold. and that's this guy.
so it was a pretty good day.
and...even as i wrote "What??" as a title to this post, i couldn't help but laugh. my second cousin, who is 5 now, is absolutely hilarious. and last Christmas every time she opened a present she would loudly state "WHAT? who gave this to me?" her tone was more like an inquisition or a demand than a genuine interest in her benefactor. like she was opening a bomb or a plastic baggy of dog poo- "who would have the gall to give this to me?" was her tone. so now every time my husband or i say "what?" we start laughing.
anyway...
that's all for now. ta.
so it was a pretty good day.
and...even as i wrote "What??" as a title to this post, i couldn't help but laugh. my second cousin, who is 5 now, is absolutely hilarious. and last Christmas every time she opened a present she would loudly state "WHAT? who gave this to me?" her tone was more like an inquisition or a demand than a genuine interest in her benefactor. like she was opening a bomb or a plastic baggy of dog poo- "who would have the gall to give this to me?" was her tone. so now every time my husband or i say "what?" we start laughing.
anyway...
that's all for now. ta.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Cry if I Want to, Cry if I Want to....
so my 28th birthday has come and gone. or is going. i still have more celebrating to do later this week w/ my family. and i went out to dinner w/ friends tonight after enjoying a glass of wine and opening an awesome present from my husband.
but i had kind of a meh day. i saw a really neat 5 hr case, but since there were 3 doctors on it, i was just sort of hanging out at the end of the table trying not to fall asleep or get contaminated. and then, sewing up the patient at the end...my ONE JOB...didn't go very well. so not well, in fact, that i had to call in reinforcement to help me finish it. so i was embarrassed and felt dumb. and somehow my little pings of "am i AGED now?" coupled w/ today's inadequacies at work meant that i felt like an old failure. like, 'wasn't i supposed to be settled into a career at 28 instead of being the young, inexperienced pup?' but one of my friends at dinner wisely pointed out that 28 is kind of the starting age for most folks in medicine...so true that.
...but still....why am i not awesome faster?
i think this will just be how it is for a while. some great, fat head days and some really icky, humbling days. gargh.
but i had kind of a meh day. i saw a really neat 5 hr case, but since there were 3 doctors on it, i was just sort of hanging out at the end of the table trying not to fall asleep or get contaminated. and then, sewing up the patient at the end...my ONE JOB...didn't go very well. so not well, in fact, that i had to call in reinforcement to help me finish it. so i was embarrassed and felt dumb. and somehow my little pings of "am i AGED now?" coupled w/ today's inadequacies at work meant that i felt like an old failure. like, 'wasn't i supposed to be settled into a career at 28 instead of being the young, inexperienced pup?' but one of my friends at dinner wisely pointed out that 28 is kind of the starting age for most folks in medicine...so true that.
...but still....why am i not awesome faster?
i think this will just be how it is for a while. some great, fat head days and some really icky, humbling days. gargh.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Blue Skies, Birds Laughing, Babies Singing...
i'm in a magical tra-la unicorn land. i've had a great work week.
on wednesday, i scrubbed with a really intense surgeon who is known for his temper tantrums and for kicking people out of the OR if he doesn't like them and never allowing them back. some PA's haven't seen his cases in years, because they are on 'the list.' but i'd also heard that he was a really good surgeon and outside of the OR, a really nice guy. so i was pretty nervous doing my first cases with him. especially because he does vascular surgery, which is really precise and difficult and life or deathy. we were doing endarterectomies. (big word- means cleaning plaque out of arteries) on carotid and femoral arteries....huge, important vessels that sort of mean life or death to brain and limbs. (to be fair, they have a little help from other vessels).
so just to see these cases was wildly cool. to be able to HELP on them, was amazing. you're definitely the second surgeon on these. they really require you instead of just use you cuz you're there (the way it feels on some other types of cases). it's pretty neat. and i'm aware the whole time of how incredible it is that we have clamped the freakin' carotid artery so that we could spend an hour needling around in there. wild. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF...they keep the patient awake for these cases! (say what?) they gave her an epidural shot for pain control to the neck and some light sedation to keep her calm, but they actually require the patient to hold a squeaky ball (like a dog toy) in her hand and instruct her to squeeze it once in a while to make sure she hasn't stroked out or anything.
¡increíble!
so, it was really cool. and although i didn't know what i was doing, i did ok. and my medical knowledge that he pimped me on was only mildly sub par. and i made him laugh. and we shared a taste in movies. so it was pretty fun.
and then the next day, miracles of miracles, a fellow PA told me that he had said good things about me. like that i would be "excellent" some day. WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!
so i've been floating around since then.
and today i spent much of the day in the emergency room (no, not to get my fat head drained)...admitting new surgical patients and practicing some actual medicine. which is another thing that i recently was bitching about...(to my poor family, much to their chagrin). i was worried that i'd lose all the medicine i learned over the last few years, choosing surgery. but today i got a chance to see what the rest of my life will be like once i've gotten competent in the OR. oy vey, so much to learn! and, i got to love up on a patient w/o the ability to speak. give her some answers and hope she wasn't getting from anyone else. and God, that's good.
but tomorrow is another day...and i'm once again working with the MDITW. so we'll see how awesome and sunshiny i'm feeling tomorrow.
but then it's the weekend! so whatever. :)
on wednesday, i scrubbed with a really intense surgeon who is known for his temper tantrums and for kicking people out of the OR if he doesn't like them and never allowing them back. some PA's haven't seen his cases in years, because they are on 'the list.' but i'd also heard that he was a really good surgeon and outside of the OR, a really nice guy. so i was pretty nervous doing my first cases with him. especially because he does vascular surgery, which is really precise and difficult and life or deathy. we were doing endarterectomies. (big word- means cleaning plaque out of arteries) on carotid and femoral arteries....huge, important vessels that sort of mean life or death to brain and limbs. (to be fair, they have a little help from other vessels).
so just to see these cases was wildly cool. to be able to HELP on them, was amazing. you're definitely the second surgeon on these. they really require you instead of just use you cuz you're there (the way it feels on some other types of cases). it's pretty neat. and i'm aware the whole time of how incredible it is that we have clamped the freakin' carotid artery so that we could spend an hour needling around in there. wild. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF...they keep the patient awake for these cases! (say what?) they gave her an epidural shot for pain control to the neck and some light sedation to keep her calm, but they actually require the patient to hold a squeaky ball (like a dog toy) in her hand and instruct her to squeeze it once in a while to make sure she hasn't stroked out or anything.
¡increíble!
so, it was really cool. and although i didn't know what i was doing, i did ok. and my medical knowledge that he pimped me on was only mildly sub par. and i made him laugh. and we shared a taste in movies. so it was pretty fun.
and then the next day, miracles of miracles, a fellow PA told me that he had said good things about me. like that i would be "excellent" some day. WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!
so i've been floating around since then.
and today i spent much of the day in the emergency room (no, not to get my fat head drained)...admitting new surgical patients and practicing some actual medicine. which is another thing that i recently was bitching about...(to my poor family, much to their chagrin). i was worried that i'd lose all the medicine i learned over the last few years, choosing surgery. but today i got a chance to see what the rest of my life will be like once i've gotten competent in the OR. oy vey, so much to learn! and, i got to love up on a patient w/o the ability to speak. give her some answers and hope she wasn't getting from anyone else. and God, that's good.
but tomorrow is another day...and i'm once again working with the MDITW. so we'll see how awesome and sunshiny i'm feeling tomorrow.
but then it's the weekend! so whatever. :)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
SAVE THE BOOBS!! HELP SAVE SECOND BASE!!
now that i have your attention.
that is actually a breast cancer awareness slogan that i have on a t-shirt. it also says "big and small, we support them all."
you can't talk to any female who has not been effected by breast cancer. if you don't have a personal experience, you probably have a relative or a friend who has faced breast cancer (or at the very least, you are aware of celebrity gossip- survivors like olivia newton john, christina applegate, and sheryl crow). there's a lot of awareness (and pink paraphernalia) out there, this being breast cancer awareness month.
and this is good. breast cancer is the most common cancer in women and the second most deadly cancer in women (behind lung cancer). we continue to make great strides in diagnosis and treatment. (for your info: current recommendations say that from age 20 on, monthly home breast exams and yearly (or at least every 3 yr) clinical breast exams are important in early detection. and after age 40, annual mammograms in addition to those screenings already mentioned). treatment is less invasive than it used to be, and is tailored to each patient depending on the tumor size, involved lymph nodes, pathology of the tumor, genetics, etc. mastectomy with chemo/radiation is often times still the most effective combo.
we do a lot of mastectomies at the hospital. i'm scheduled to do a few tomorrow. as you can imagine, they are often very emotional for the patient. even with the progress that we're making with breast cancer treatment, it's a terrifying process and losing your breasts can often be synonymous with feelings of losing your dignity and femininity. again, hopefully with the public interest, there's now somewhat less dread and hopelessness associated with a diagnosis of breast cancer, but it is still an awful ordeal.
mastectomies and reconstructive surgery is really interesting from a surgical perspective. often times, if the patient knows they'll want to go with prosthesis eventually, they'll put retainers in at the time to start stretching the muscle slowly to allow for the eventual implant. the patient will go in periodically to the plastic surgeon to have more gel inserted to make the retainer bigger until it's of satisfactory size and the tissue is healed and all radiation is done and everything...
the plastic surgeons i work with are artists. the natural shape of breasts is kind of an obsession with them. they're goal is to make the implants fit the patient's figure, have both breasts look equal and have them settle gracefully. one MD explained to me that if you inflate the balloon into a perfect circle (both top and bottom full and round), you end up with very artificial looking jugs like this. once the actual implants are in and the tissue is healed, the last step is nipple tattooing. the patient picks their shade and the doc re-creates a nipple and areola by injecting ink into it to create a nice, natural look. (and no, no one has requested paisley or bright orange areolas. i already asked).
this is not just a disease for women. although it happens a lot less often in men, breast tissue is breast tissue, so men are not safe either and if having symptoms (pain, nipple leakage/bleeding, lumps and bumps, swollen lymph nodes), need to be examined.
there's a lot more information out there, and please, please research it or post me a question and i'll find answers for you. some good places to start are emedicine breast cancer article and the american cancer society.
that is actually a breast cancer awareness slogan that i have on a t-shirt. it also says "big and small, we support them all."
you can't talk to any female who has not been effected by breast cancer. if you don't have a personal experience, you probably have a relative or a friend who has faced breast cancer (or at the very least, you are aware of celebrity gossip- survivors like olivia newton john, christina applegate, and sheryl crow). there's a lot of awareness (and pink paraphernalia) out there, this being breast cancer awareness month.
and this is good. breast cancer is the most common cancer in women and the second most deadly cancer in women (behind lung cancer). we continue to make great strides in diagnosis and treatment. (for your info: current recommendations say that from age 20 on, monthly home breast exams and yearly (or at least every 3 yr) clinical breast exams are important in early detection. and after age 40, annual mammograms in addition to those screenings already mentioned). treatment is less invasive than it used to be, and is tailored to each patient depending on the tumor size, involved lymph nodes, pathology of the tumor, genetics, etc. mastectomy with chemo/radiation is often times still the most effective combo.
we do a lot of mastectomies at the hospital. i'm scheduled to do a few tomorrow. as you can imagine, they are often very emotional for the patient. even with the progress that we're making with breast cancer treatment, it's a terrifying process and losing your breasts can often be synonymous with feelings of losing your dignity and femininity. again, hopefully with the public interest, there's now somewhat less dread and hopelessness associated with a diagnosis of breast cancer, but it is still an awful ordeal.
mastectomies and reconstructive surgery is really interesting from a surgical perspective. often times, if the patient knows they'll want to go with prosthesis eventually, they'll put retainers in at the time to start stretching the muscle slowly to allow for the eventual implant. the patient will go in periodically to the plastic surgeon to have more gel inserted to make the retainer bigger until it's of satisfactory size and the tissue is healed and all radiation is done and everything...
the plastic surgeons i work with are artists. the natural shape of breasts is kind of an obsession with them. they're goal is to make the implants fit the patient's figure, have both breasts look equal and have them settle gracefully. one MD explained to me that if you inflate the balloon into a perfect circle (both top and bottom full and round), you end up with very artificial looking jugs like this. once the actual implants are in and the tissue is healed, the last step is nipple tattooing. the patient picks their shade and the doc re-creates a nipple and areola by injecting ink into it to create a nice, natural look. (and no, no one has requested paisley or bright orange areolas. i already asked).
this is not just a disease for women. although it happens a lot less often in men, breast tissue is breast tissue, so men are not safe either and if having symptoms (pain, nipple leakage/bleeding, lumps and bumps, swollen lymph nodes), need to be examined.
there's a lot more information out there, and please, please research it or post me a question and i'll find answers for you. some good places to start are emedicine breast cancer article and the american cancer society.
Monday, October 13, 2008
October is a Wonderland of Joy and Joyness
october is half way over already, but it's objectively the best month of the year. not only is it my anniversary and birthday and halloween and national vegetarian month, but also....
*last week was national PA week, so we got pizza and cake everyday at MBH
*and it's breast cancer awareness month- and i bought a new pink stethescope (because it's AWESOME!) in honor of survivors of breast cancer
*and clergy appreciation month
*and eat country ham month
*and cookie month.
*and sarcastic month (whatever)
and important days include...
*tomorrow, oct 14th- 'national dessert day' and grover's birthday
*oct 18th- 'alaska day' (wear cute glasses and sound canadian!) and sweetest's day
*oct 20th- 'brandied fruit day' (oh, yes)
*oct 24th- 'national bologna day'
*oct 25th- 'punk for a day day'
*oct 26th- 'mother-in-law day'
*oct 31- juliette gordon low's birthday (erected the girl scouts, 1912)
*last week was national PA week, so we got pizza and cake everyday at MBH
*and it's breast cancer awareness month- and i bought a new pink stethescope (because it's AWESOME!) in honor of survivors of breast cancer
*and clergy appreciation month
*and eat country ham month
*and cookie month.
*and sarcastic month (whatever)
and important days include...
*tomorrow, oct 14th- 'national dessert day' and grover's birthday
*oct 18th- 'alaska day' (wear cute glasses and sound canadian!) and sweetest's day
*oct 20th- 'brandied fruit day' (oh, yes)
*oct 24th- 'national bologna day'
*oct 25th- 'punk for a day day'
*oct 26th- 'mother-in-law day'
*oct 31- juliette gordon low's birthday (erected the girl scouts, 1912)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Candy-Coated Contraception
hot dang. we just survived the tornado that is 9 adults and 2 children under the age of 7 in a 900 square foot house for a weekend. i would have been such a whiner had i lived in the days of tenement housing.
but we had a great time and the weather was phenomenal. we all dressed in costumes for the halloween festival we went to, and it was so nice, we didn't have to bundle up too much.
over the weekend we ate our weight in sugary delights. multiple crates of cookies and cream puffs and cupcakes and candies and caramel corn that my grandma made and brought (she's famous for all things diabetic-coma inducing). plus, my family is really sneaky about using sweet jello dishes as side dishes with meals so that you can still have dessert afterward. PLUS, at the festival they passed out lots of candy and chips and cookies and stuff.
so my teeth are cavitatng (word?) as we speak and i'm in kind of glucose shock right now.
but. the house. is quiet. tra. la.
the relatives who were here were all women. most of my family is composed of the fairer sex. so when aunts, grandma, cousins, and 2nd cousins get together- we're a loud, rowdy, estrogen-y bunch. and they're all wonderful. everyone pitches in to help make and serve the food, clean up afterwards, etc. this is an annual thing we do, but this is the first year w/ little kids.
and these kids are sweet and loving and delightful. but also totally exhausting. i think they had a good time. we got them all dressed up in their costumes for saturday night and the little one was a vampire. she had this little bodice dress w/ long flowy sleeves....which was really cool until i took her to the public restroom at the festival and when she came out she announced to me (and the restroom at large), "i dropped both my sleeves in the toilet." she was pretty matter of fact about it, and once i'd established that it was into a toilet of #1 and NOT #2, we just rolled 'em up and kept on truckin'. :)
they made us laugh all weekend with their antics. but by the end of the weekend ("she got a quarter and it's supposed to be my quarter!" "can i have another cupcake? i've only had 3!" "DID YOU FEED YOUR GUM TO THE DOG??") all cousins of reproductive age were brainstorming ways to reinforce the barricades they use around their uteruses.
but we had a great time and the weather was phenomenal. we all dressed in costumes for the halloween festival we went to, and it was so nice, we didn't have to bundle up too much.
over the weekend we ate our weight in sugary delights. multiple crates of cookies and cream puffs and cupcakes and candies and caramel corn that my grandma made and brought (she's famous for all things diabetic-coma inducing). plus, my family is really sneaky about using sweet jello dishes as side dishes with meals so that you can still have dessert afterward. PLUS, at the festival they passed out lots of candy and chips and cookies and stuff.
so my teeth are cavitatng (word?) as we speak and i'm in kind of glucose shock right now.
but. the house. is quiet. tra. la.
the relatives who were here were all women. most of my family is composed of the fairer sex. so when aunts, grandma, cousins, and 2nd cousins get together- we're a loud, rowdy, estrogen-y bunch. and they're all wonderful. everyone pitches in to help make and serve the food, clean up afterwards, etc. this is an annual thing we do, but this is the first year w/ little kids.
and these kids are sweet and loving and delightful. but also totally exhausting. i think they had a good time. we got them all dressed up in their costumes for saturday night and the little one was a vampire. she had this little bodice dress w/ long flowy sleeves....which was really cool until i took her to the public restroom at the festival and when she came out she announced to me (and the restroom at large), "i dropped both my sleeves in the toilet." she was pretty matter of fact about it, and once i'd established that it was into a toilet of #1 and NOT #2, we just rolled 'em up and kept on truckin'. :)
they made us laugh all weekend with their antics. but by the end of the weekend ("she got a quarter and it's supposed to be my quarter!" "can i have another cupcake? i've only had 3!" "DID YOU FEED YOUR GUM TO THE DOG??") all cousins of reproductive age were brainstorming ways to reinforce the barricades they use around their uteruses.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hands and The Hippies They're Attached To
i've alluded/eluded/ihategrammar to this in previous posts-- that hands are a huge part of my life. first of all...and, brace yourselves because i'm about to go down a rabbit hole here and hope you don't take this to mean that i think i'm a voodoo priestess or anything...BUT... i've been told all my life that i have a very 'healing' or 'energizing' touch. exhibit A: friends, family, patients, (strangers, when i'm feeling especially cheeky) have always voiced that they've found a lot of comfort from my hand holding and touch. exhibit B: whenever we did the 'pass the energy ball' team building game in theater classes (i cannot believe how much embarrassing dirt you people have on me, seriously), i always seemed to 'shock' the person next to me w/ whatever flow was coming through my hand to theirs. exhibit C: my even hippier-than-me friend once read our energies or chakras or colors or something. it was a long time ago, so i don't remember it very clearly, other than that it was cool and that the descriptions of our matching colors based on our personality profiles were pretty accurate...and that my energy source was based in my hands and that i was a healer.
(i did not express that well, and if said friend is reading this post, by all means, chip in to make sense out of my jibber jabber).
so, anyway...as i entered a career in surgery, i was aware that my hands might have some 'divine power' in them. and in my career previously and so far as a PA, i have used them to hold, rub, pat and generally provide comfort and love. so i'm hoping that once my skills are up to snuff, i will pass healing power through them into surgery.
in surgery, my hands are used for everything. to hold, tie, pinch, grasp, sew, stop bleeding, insert lines and catheters, cut, burn, provide tension ...everything. their not having palsy has been a plus this week as i've been on a few very picky, tricky vascular cases- working on aortic aneurisms and vascular grafts, etc.
and today, with the MEANEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD (MDITW), my hands were blessings as they didn't shake too terribly as he withered my fragile self esteem and yelled at me for not being able to predict his next move and simultaneously evacuate smoke and retract and provide visuals. my hands also did not punch him in the neck, for the record, when he expressed that it annoyed him that i lean my head to the side when trying to see better by just bellowing to me "HEAD!!" or "STAND UP STRAIGHT!!" (last week i was feeling like i'm getting paid too much to do what i do..not so much today).
and lastly, my hands have been quite sick this last few months. i have terrible eczema and they've been painfully dry and broken...so much so that the 10 times a day i wash them makes me practically weep as all the tiny wounds get scrubbed. so i've been dealing with that. better now, with topical and oral steroids, but still thick scarred tissue and a few big red marks. not much fun. and these hands are my money maker now, so i have to look out for them.
i'm also more careful than i used to me when chopping vegetables at home, etc.
so that's my story on my upper appendages.
i've had quite a day, so i'm off to drink myself into a mild stupor while i cook for my relatives visiting this weekend. tra-la.
(i did not express that well, and if said friend is reading this post, by all means, chip in to make sense out of my jibber jabber).
so, anyway...as i entered a career in surgery, i was aware that my hands might have some 'divine power' in them. and in my career previously and so far as a PA, i have used them to hold, rub, pat and generally provide comfort and love. so i'm hoping that once my skills are up to snuff, i will pass healing power through them into surgery.
in surgery, my hands are used for everything. to hold, tie, pinch, grasp, sew, stop bleeding, insert lines and catheters, cut, burn, provide tension ...everything. their not having palsy has been a plus this week as i've been on a few very picky, tricky vascular cases- working on aortic aneurisms and vascular grafts, etc.
and today, with the MEANEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD (MDITW), my hands were blessings as they didn't shake too terribly as he withered my fragile self esteem and yelled at me for not being able to predict his next move and simultaneously evacuate smoke and retract and provide visuals. my hands also did not punch him in the neck, for the record, when he expressed that it annoyed him that i lean my head to the side when trying to see better by just bellowing to me "HEAD!!" or "STAND UP STRAIGHT!!" (last week i was feeling like i'm getting paid too much to do what i do..not so much today).
and lastly, my hands have been quite sick this last few months. i have terrible eczema and they've been painfully dry and broken...so much so that the 10 times a day i wash them makes me practically weep as all the tiny wounds get scrubbed. so i've been dealing with that. better now, with topical and oral steroids, but still thick scarred tissue and a few big red marks. not much fun. and these hands are my money maker now, so i have to look out for them.
i'm also more careful than i used to me when chopping vegetables at home, etc.
so that's my story on my upper appendages.
i've had quite a day, so i'm off to drink myself into a mild stupor while i cook for my relatives visiting this weekend. tra-la.
Friday, October 3, 2008
My BFF. Forever.
so last week at work went pretty well. i'm getting more comfortable w/ the other PA's, MD's, and other staff, and them with me. and i'm even making some friends, i think. i got invited to one PA's wedding already. and at lunch the other day, they were all asking my opinion on things and laughing at my jokes and stuff. tra-la! so either the boss told them to take pity on me, or they genuinely like me. :) i brought back fudge from my weekend away, so if they're on the fence about me, hopefully chocolaty goodness will tip them in my favor.
my surgical skills are coming around, too. things that used to be really perplexing to me are coming more naturally now. step by step. and most days seem to fly by and i really enjoy myself. since i get there by 6:30am, it always seems like "it's already noon?" and then the day's practically over. and each week it's like, "it's already wednesday?" so these are good signs. i've been in jobs where 30 minutes can feel like a lifetime, so i'm loving this.
and this weekend was magical. to celebrate our 6th anniversary, my husband and i escaped up north to my parents' beautiful cabin on a river in the woods. it's completely peaceful and slow, quiet and still up there. the sky is so wide open you can see the milky way foggy line and all the constellations. we even saw a shooting star. there's just a whole lot of lovely nothing up there. this time of year is perfect- it was crisp and cool, but very pleasant. and the leaves are already changing colors in bursts.
we got up there friday night and built a fire and shared some wine, then fell into a sleep coma. i never sleep harder than i do when i'm there- maybe it's the fresh air or something (carbon monoxide leak?), but i am so well rested after a weekend there. saturday, my marathon runner went for a 12 mile run while i took a bath (that's right, that's how we roll), then we went to a little artsy town nearby and did some shopping. we had really good intentions to get Christmas shopping started, but instead ended up getting ourselves a bunch of awesome things we totally didn't need ($12 pickles, for example). and fudge. which, as far as i'm concerned, is, in fact, a necessity for life. then we ate dinner at a swanky restaurant in the area- i had a fried eel sushi roll (weird but good), pumpkin bisque, and a mixed greens harvest salad, and he had a southwest caesar salad and a mushroom and white truffle pasta dish. we also really enjoyed the pinot noir split we had (steele carneros 2006) and a pear pastry w/ hazlenut ice cream and cranberry and caramel sauce on the side. delicious. then saturday night- more wine, more fire, and more coma. this morning, we lazily got around to getting up and leaving.
so we had a great time. but we always really enjoy our time together. we never lack for things to talk about. and we laugh all the time. we talked a lot about our past (we've been together for about 11 years) and our future (how many more years we think we'll be able to stand each other). :)
i can't imagine a more amazing person to share my life with. he's by best friend, my support, my hope, my sanity. and i'm so totally grateful for him.
(but..shhh..don't tell him. i don't want him to get a fat head).
my surgical skills are coming around, too. things that used to be really perplexing to me are coming more naturally now. step by step. and most days seem to fly by and i really enjoy myself. since i get there by 6:30am, it always seems like "it's already noon?" and then the day's practically over. and each week it's like, "it's already wednesday?" so these are good signs. i've been in jobs where 30 minutes can feel like a lifetime, so i'm loving this.
and this weekend was magical. to celebrate our 6th anniversary, my husband and i escaped up north to my parents' beautiful cabin on a river in the woods. it's completely peaceful and slow, quiet and still up there. the sky is so wide open you can see the milky way foggy line and all the constellations. we even saw a shooting star. there's just a whole lot of lovely nothing up there. this time of year is perfect- it was crisp and cool, but very pleasant. and the leaves are already changing colors in bursts.
we got up there friday night and built a fire and shared some wine, then fell into a sleep coma. i never sleep harder than i do when i'm there- maybe it's the fresh air or something (carbon monoxide leak?), but i am so well rested after a weekend there. saturday, my marathon runner went for a 12 mile run while i took a bath (that's right, that's how we roll), then we went to a little artsy town nearby and did some shopping. we had really good intentions to get Christmas shopping started, but instead ended up getting ourselves a bunch of awesome things we totally didn't need ($12 pickles, for example). and fudge. which, as far as i'm concerned, is, in fact, a necessity for life. then we ate dinner at a swanky restaurant in the area- i had a fried eel sushi roll (weird but good), pumpkin bisque, and a mixed greens harvest salad, and he had a southwest caesar salad and a mushroom and white truffle pasta dish. we also really enjoyed the pinot noir split we had (steele carneros 2006) and a pear pastry w/ hazlenut ice cream and cranberry and caramel sauce on the side. delicious. then saturday night- more wine, more fire, and more coma. this morning, we lazily got around to getting up and leaving.
so we had a great time. but we always really enjoy our time together. we never lack for things to talk about. and we laugh all the time. we talked a lot about our past (we've been together for about 11 years) and our future (how many more years we think we'll be able to stand each other). :)
i can't imagine a more amazing person to share my life with. he's by best friend, my support, my hope, my sanity. and i'm so totally grateful for him.
(but..shhh..don't tell him. i don't want him to get a fat head).
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Blues in PA Minor
so...i'm feeling bleh. it's rainy and dark and getting cold and everyone seems to have a sinus infection. i'm downing about 13 packs of emergen-c every day, trying to stave off whatever bug i might get. my tummy has been feeling rotten- i'm certain it's an ulcer/tumor/the plague. i have visions of a bleeding ulcer that needs to be operated on, and some new grad PA making a total mess out of me while i'm helpless under sedation in the OR.
*sniff*
that brings me to my next sad bastard point ("i've lost my tail..." - eeyore). i want to KNOW HOW TO DO STUFF ALREADY! i'm feeling like i'm still slow, in the way, dumb, clueless, miserable, chokey mcchokester...i want to be useful and keen and skilled and graceful and competent and busy and worth the money they're paying me!!! right now i'm still only like the 'best of' PA students. i feel like i'm not offering much and it might be a while before i do.
ack!! sometimes i wish i had some magic potion (not emergen-c, i've certainly tried that one) that would flash me forward to about 6 months from now. when i'll have a better handle on all this and not so much doubt and fear.
but, realistically, i don't want to wish any of this away. for one thing, the process is as (/more) important as the outcome. for another, in six months i'll have to be taking call and working afternoons/nights/weekends. this peaceful piece right now won't happen again.
so that's a nice something to look forward to.
just crabby, i guess. but i'm writing myself a list of things to accomplish this week, and lists usually make me feel a bit calmer. and i'm looking forward to a weekend away w/ my hubby and dog this weekend to the wilderness to celebrate our anniversary.
*sniff*
that brings me to my next sad bastard point ("i've lost my tail..." - eeyore). i want to KNOW HOW TO DO STUFF ALREADY! i'm feeling like i'm still slow, in the way, dumb, clueless, miserable, chokey mcchokester...i want to be useful and keen and skilled and graceful and competent and busy and worth the money they're paying me!!! right now i'm still only like the 'best of' PA students. i feel like i'm not offering much and it might be a while before i do.
ack!! sometimes i wish i had some magic potion (not emergen-c, i've certainly tried that one) that would flash me forward to about 6 months from now. when i'll have a better handle on all this and not so much doubt and fear.
but, realistically, i don't want to wish any of this away. for one thing, the process is as (/more) important as the outcome. for another, in six months i'll have to be taking call and working afternoons/nights/weekends. this peaceful piece right now won't happen again.
so that's a nice something to look forward to.
just crabby, i guess. but i'm writing myself a list of things to accomplish this week, and lists usually make me feel a bit calmer. and i'm looking forward to a weekend away w/ my hubby and dog this weekend to the wilderness to celebrate our anniversary.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Highlights and Lowlights
- i saw the coolest surgery ever last week- WARNING, GRAPHIC MATERIAL AHEAD...a long time smoker had developed a mouth cancer and nerve tumor that had spread all over his neck, jaw, throat, and tongue. the Ears, Nose, Throat (ENT) surgeon did a 14 hr surgery on him (14 hours!!) that involved reflecting the skin on his jaw/face up and the skin on his neck down, tying off his jugular vein, and dissecting out all the tumor, cautiously picking through and avoiding other major vessels and nerves. to get all the tumors and their margins, they had to take most of his tongue, severed his jaw in half and took much of his inner cheek, soft palate, etc. it was incredible to see. i went in an checked it out in between cases. it was an amazing anatomy lesson. and i had actually met this patient in pre-op, and he was very full of faith and kept smiling and talking about how God had gotten him through this far, so knew He would stay w/ him for this....so as i watched the surgery in awe, i just kept praying over him- asking for God's protection and hand in this. i kind of thought that's what the patient would want. the next day i went and saw him in the surgical ICU, and other than the fact that he was breathing through a tracheotomy in his neck, fed through a feeding tube, and had a howdy doody looking line of sutures down his chin and around his jaw, his head was entirely put back together and he looked like himself. his recovery will be long and his long-term prognosis is still shaky. he will have to learn to speak again w/ a finger-width of tongue left...but this might have saved his life from an incredibly invasive and hard to reach cancer. so cool.
-i requested that my chief PA schedule me for as many laparoscopic cases as i could get this week, so that i could become proficient with using the long instruments and manipulating them inside the belly, using monitors to gage my actions. i did a few gall bladders in this way, which went really well....the whole thing is pretty counterintuitive, but i'm learning. i'm learning.
-so...on thursday, i was with a good 'ol boy surgeon who i'd never worked w/ before... a genuine cowboy. loud and crass and over the top. goes unpunished for telling horrible off-color jokes about race and sexuality, etc, etc. generally, the kind of dude i try to avoid. and we were doing a tricky hernia repair laparoscopically. so, as i was attempting to manipulate the hernia mesh patch w/ my instrument while using the monitor and 'feel' as a guide, it wasn't going well. (like i said, i'm learning. i'm learning). he, the lasso-wielding surgeon, the PA who was with me, and all the nurses in the room laughed hysterically at me. like tears-in-their-eyes, funniest thing they've ever seen, laughed. so that was fun. needless to say, i was a little jarred after that and so then bumbled around, contaminating myself, breaking a glove, even my sewing was not so hot...but the case eventually ended. thank God.
-friday, they let me scrub by myself for four cases w/ a surgeon. and overall, they went really well. that helped re-build my little shaky self esteem a little bit.
-also, apparently, i'm a legend. i ran into the chief of surgery in the hallway the other day. he had been fond of me when i was a student there last year- i think he was instrumental in getting me hired. anyway, if you've been reading my blog all along, you might remember a particular story about when i made an ass out of myself (i'll clarify- i know that doesn't help) when i asked for the "bent retractor" instead of the "Bennett retractor" during an ortho case. he told me that i'm remembered for this and that now the whole orthopedics department refers to it as the "bent retractor." fan-friggin-tastic. :) i guess infamy is better than no-famy, eh?
-what else? my weekends are becoming more and more important to me. and we've got busy ones back-to-back for the next few months. i'm taking advantage of the fact that i don't have to take call yet. this particular weekend, we went to a traveling broadway show called "avenue q" which is sort of a raunchy, hilarious musical puppet show w/ such favorite numbers as "the internet is for porn." good times were had by all.
-i requested that my chief PA schedule me for as many laparoscopic cases as i could get this week, so that i could become proficient with using the long instruments and manipulating them inside the belly, using monitors to gage my actions. i did a few gall bladders in this way, which went really well....the whole thing is pretty counterintuitive, but i'm learning. i'm learning.
-so...on thursday, i was with a good 'ol boy surgeon who i'd never worked w/ before... a genuine cowboy. loud and crass and over the top. goes unpunished for telling horrible off-color jokes about race and sexuality, etc, etc. generally, the kind of dude i try to avoid. and we were doing a tricky hernia repair laparoscopically. so, as i was attempting to manipulate the hernia mesh patch w/ my instrument while using the monitor and 'feel' as a guide, it wasn't going well. (like i said, i'm learning. i'm learning). he, the lasso-wielding surgeon, the PA who was with me, and all the nurses in the room laughed hysterically at me. like tears-in-their-eyes, funniest thing they've ever seen, laughed. so that was fun. needless to say, i was a little jarred after that and so then bumbled around, contaminating myself, breaking a glove, even my sewing was not so hot...but the case eventually ended. thank God.
-friday, they let me scrub by myself for four cases w/ a surgeon. and overall, they went really well. that helped re-build my little shaky self esteem a little bit.
-also, apparently, i'm a legend. i ran into the chief of surgery in the hallway the other day. he had been fond of me when i was a student there last year- i think he was instrumental in getting me hired. anyway, if you've been reading my blog all along, you might remember a particular story about when i made an ass out of myself (i'll clarify- i know that doesn't help) when i asked for the "bent retractor" instead of the "Bennett retractor" during an ortho case. he told me that i'm remembered for this and that now the whole orthopedics department refers to it as the "bent retractor." fan-friggin-tastic. :) i guess infamy is better than no-famy, eh?
-what else? my weekends are becoming more and more important to me. and we've got busy ones back-to-back for the next few months. i'm taking advantage of the fact that i don't have to take call yet. this particular weekend, we went to a traveling broadway show called "avenue q" which is sort of a raunchy, hilarious musical puppet show w/ such favorite numbers as "the internet is for porn." good times were had by all.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Up to My Armpits in A-Holes
and i'm not talking about the staff. they're all being wonderful, actually. there are a few ball buster surgeons, but so far the PA mafia has kept me pretty much protected from their evil doings.
i'm noticing my improvements in cases, too. my job right now is to get to know each doctor's methods for different procedures and to get to know them well enough that they trust me to assist them. and also to become adept at all the various things the 1st assistant does...sewing and cutting and holding and cauterizing and tying and prepping and closing the patient...generally making the surgeon's life easier. sometimes we're just another pair of hands. but those hands have to be graceful and move with dexterity and ease. more on that later. hands are a big part of my job (and my life, in fact).
so about those a-holes. i did two bowel cases today w/ the "butt boys." these are the colorectal surgeons who work to remove colon tumors, clean up messy diverticular disasters, etc. so when you take the diseased part of the bowel out, you have to somehow connect the top part of the tube above where you cut to the bottom part of the tube, below where you cut. or poop will go everywhere inside the patient. and this is frowned on. so in order to do this, one person has to prepare the above bowel (in the belly) and another person has to prepare the below bowel (in the rectum). this means that someone (me) is sticking a 2 ft long stick w/ a stapler on the end up someone's bum. the stapler both affixes the 2 ends of colon, but also makes a hole (lumen) through the middle of them so they're nice and attached and open wide for 'passage.' it's very complicated. and very awesome. and extremely disgusting. i felt like i needed to send that patient flowers after i violated her in her most holiest of holies. ("hole-ies?") :)
so it was very interesting. two cases, one laparoscopic and one open, took us a total of 10 hrs w/ just a short break between them. so i'm tired. but i'm already accumulating overtime hrs, which is pretty cool. what i'll do w/ all this time off, i have no idea. i'll need to start thinking sabatical-in-europe or time-to-have-a-baby-and-go-on-maternity-leave thoughts to figure out how to take advantage of my vacation plus all these extra hours i'll be working that i get to keep to use.
a very good problem to have.
and i'm in a great mood. perfect weather. i love these days where i can still wear sandals on my feet, but need a big fuzzy sweatshirt on top. fantastic.
and both my anniversary and birthday (and Christmas) are coming up, so i'm excited for all that, too.
i'm noticing my improvements in cases, too. my job right now is to get to know each doctor's methods for different procedures and to get to know them well enough that they trust me to assist them. and also to become adept at all the various things the 1st assistant does...sewing and cutting and holding and cauterizing and tying and prepping and closing the patient...generally making the surgeon's life easier. sometimes we're just another pair of hands. but those hands have to be graceful and move with dexterity and ease. more on that later. hands are a big part of my job (and my life, in fact).
so about those a-holes. i did two bowel cases today w/ the "butt boys." these are the colorectal surgeons who work to remove colon tumors, clean up messy diverticular disasters, etc. so when you take the diseased part of the bowel out, you have to somehow connect the top part of the tube above where you cut to the bottom part of the tube, below where you cut. or poop will go everywhere inside the patient. and this is frowned on. so in order to do this, one person has to prepare the above bowel (in the belly) and another person has to prepare the below bowel (in the rectum). this means that someone (me) is sticking a 2 ft long stick w/ a stapler on the end up someone's bum. the stapler both affixes the 2 ends of colon, but also makes a hole (lumen) through the middle of them so they're nice and attached and open wide for 'passage.' it's very complicated. and very awesome. and extremely disgusting. i felt like i needed to send that patient flowers after i violated her in her most holiest of holies. ("hole-ies?") :)
so it was very interesting. two cases, one laparoscopic and one open, took us a total of 10 hrs w/ just a short break between them. so i'm tired. but i'm already accumulating overtime hrs, which is pretty cool. what i'll do w/ all this time off, i have no idea. i'll need to start thinking sabatical-in-europe or time-to-have-a-baby-and-go-on-maternity-leave thoughts to figure out how to take advantage of my vacation plus all these extra hours i'll be working that i get to keep to use.
a very good problem to have.
and i'm in a great mood. perfect weather. i love these days where i can still wear sandals on my feet, but need a big fuzzy sweatshirt on top. fantastic.
and both my anniversary and birthday (and Christmas) are coming up, so i'm excited for all that, too.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
So, Being a Certified PA Was Cool and All, But...
being a PAID certified PA is way better!!
best. day. ever.
i was told last monday at orientation that i wouldn't get paid until next week. but THEN THIS MORNING one of my fellow certified and paid PA's mentioned that tomorrow was pay day. my little heart skipped a little beat, but i dared not hope. and then i got home tonight and TRA-LA, there was the most lovely bit in my mailbox! so i tossed my dog in the car (she weighs 65 pounds, so "toss" might be a bit aggressive a word...perhaps "coaxed" or "requested" is better) and we hightailed it to the bank to deposit it into my anemic bank account.
it felt great. it's been such a long time since i've brought in money that wasn't acquired by gift, loan, or bank robbery.
and i had a great day at work. i did a vaginal hysterectomy and a rectocele/ cystocele repair (pouch from bladder and rectum into vagina- happens often in older ladies who have had a bunch of kids, caused incontinence, difficulty going to the bathroom, etc) with an Ob/Gyn and a uro-surgeon. fun, fun, fun.
things are going really well. i'm catching on slowly, slowly. and it's tons of fun. they hooked me up with a really nice, patient mentor- so i'm learning a lot from her. we'll call her "McAwesome." a patient's wife asked me yesterday how similar working in surgery is to "grey's anatomy." she looked really hopeful, so i told her that i had to remember to get my underwear from the call room where i'd left them after my earlier shtup and then i excused myself to go check on the bomb in a patient down the hall. :) i think she was sorry she asked.
and mcawesome is really into healthy eating and fitness, so we've been talking about that a lot. this week i've been eating pretty well and have lost a few BMI points (my wii fit is keeping close track of this for me- it actually beams your weight from the balance board on the floor to the TV- no wires or anything. i think it's a miracle or sorcery. leaning toward sorcery).
so all in all, i'm feeling good and enjoying my new gig at MBH.
best. day. ever.
i was told last monday at orientation that i wouldn't get paid until next week. but THEN THIS MORNING one of my fellow certified and paid PA's mentioned that tomorrow was pay day. my little heart skipped a little beat, but i dared not hope. and then i got home tonight and TRA-LA, there was the most lovely bit in my mailbox! so i tossed my dog in the car (she weighs 65 pounds, so "toss" might be a bit aggressive a word...perhaps "coaxed" or "requested" is better) and we hightailed it to the bank to deposit it into my anemic bank account.
it felt great. it's been such a long time since i've brought in money that wasn't acquired by gift, loan, or bank robbery.
and i had a great day at work. i did a vaginal hysterectomy and a rectocele/ cystocele repair (pouch from bladder and rectum into vagina- happens often in older ladies who have had a bunch of kids, caused incontinence, difficulty going to the bathroom, etc) with an Ob/Gyn and a uro-surgeon. fun, fun, fun.
things are going really well. i'm catching on slowly, slowly. and it's tons of fun. they hooked me up with a really nice, patient mentor- so i'm learning a lot from her. we'll call her "McAwesome." a patient's wife asked me yesterday how similar working in surgery is to "grey's anatomy." she looked really hopeful, so i told her that i had to remember to get my underwear from the call room where i'd left them after my earlier shtup and then i excused myself to go check on the bomb in a patient down the hall. :) i think she was sorry she asked.
and mcawesome is really into healthy eating and fitness, so we've been talking about that a lot. this week i've been eating pretty well and have lost a few BMI points (my wii fit is keeping close track of this for me- it actually beams your weight from the balance board on the floor to the TV- no wires or anything. i think it's a miracle or sorcery. leaning toward sorcery).
so all in all, i'm feeling good and enjoying my new gig at MBH.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I Almost Sewed My Head to My Arm
things are going well. but, i am impatient to know stuff and be good at doing stuff sooner rather than later. i am developing a list of all things "i wish i could..." such as:
-suture properly w/o needing supervision and having to totally re-do some incisions because they're only slightly less of a gaping wound when i'm done sewing on them than when i started
-name all the instruments and suture type and not sound like a buffoon asking for 'that pointy thing' or 'the purple string'
-steer well when driving the camera/trochanter instruments when doing a lap procedure
-remember all the tendons, vessels, and landmarks of the anatomy (or any of them, really)
-know how to find my way from the PA office to my locker and maybe even to my car without having to ask a janitor for directions (they’re very helpful)
-not take 5 times as long as the 'real' PA's to do an intake history and physical
-transfer money from checking to savings instead of vice-versa JUST ONCE IN MY LIFE...(this one will happen soon, which is some of why i'm working so diligently on the previous ones. i'm only a week and a half out from my first big kid pay check!)
-make heads or tails out of my loans/try not to default too much and lose my house
-adjust to the idea that i will be waking up at 0:500 every morning and learn to not secretly try to count in my head how many weeks i have left of this 'rotation.'
...so that's my wish list. but overall, like i said, things are going swimmingly. and since i'm starting this new chapter of my life, i figured it was time to clean other things up, too. so, i cold turkey withdrew myself from caffeine. i had become dependent and found that i was compensating for its side effects (teeth whitening tooth paste for yellowed coffee stained teeth (that's totally hot), trying to come up w/ non-caffeine related reasons while my breastesses might be achy (TMI?), the awful headaches when coming down from it, etc, etc). now it's been about a week and a half, and the headaches and cold sweats are mostly gone. i still allow myself decaf lattes and such (to all my starbucks benefactors, a million coffee breath kisses...). i'm also working out and watching my diet. not as strictly as i soon will, but better. we bought wii fit, which is pretty much the coolest thing ever, and i've been compulsively playing that...and i might even go back to my gym sometime soon (for the last few months i've looked at my membership fee like a donation to the thin, tan, pretty people who work there). and i'm making more time for God and exploring my faith. that should put me back on track.
so ANYway...my cases have been good. i had a cool 22 year old guy today who was having his gall bladder removed after he lost 170# in the last year. (gall stones are really common after significant weight loss). he did it all by diet and exercise. a very strict diet, mind you. a liquid diet, prescribed and monitored by a physician in a program....but still. he had intended to get gastric bypass- they told him he had to try to lose weight on his own first, and this is what he did. 100 and 70 whole pounds! we all ooh'd and aah'd all over him for his amazing accomplishment. he said he hoped we'd see him soon for a tummy tuck to get rid of all the excess skin. he was really cool. although, he did request to keep his gall stones. is that common? do any of you out there have gall stones that you wear on a necklace or something? it seemed like an odd request to me, but the doc said he hears it all the time.
just for the record, anything that comes out of me, can stay out. black market, trophy cabinet, whatever. i just don't really want it back.
one last thing...it seems like everyone i know is talking about becoming a PA these days. it's a good trend to be on. is anyone out there who reads this blog thinking about PA school? in PA school now? already a PA? i'd love to hear from you. post me a message.
-suture properly w/o needing supervision and having to totally re-do some incisions because they're only slightly less of a gaping wound when i'm done sewing on them than when i started
-name all the instruments and suture type and not sound like a buffoon asking for 'that pointy thing' or 'the purple string'
-steer well when driving the camera/trochanter instruments when doing a lap procedure
-remember all the tendons, vessels, and landmarks of the anatomy (or any of them, really)
-know how to find my way from the PA office to my locker and maybe even to my car without having to ask a janitor for directions (they’re very helpful)
-not take 5 times as long as the 'real' PA's to do an intake history and physical
-transfer money from checking to savings instead of vice-versa JUST ONCE IN MY LIFE...(this one will happen soon, which is some of why i'm working so diligently on the previous ones. i'm only a week and a half out from my first big kid pay check!)
-make heads or tails out of my loans/try not to default too much and lose my house
-adjust to the idea that i will be waking up at 0:500 every morning and learn to not secretly try to count in my head how many weeks i have left of this 'rotation.'
...so that's my wish list. but overall, like i said, things are going swimmingly. and since i'm starting this new chapter of my life, i figured it was time to clean other things up, too. so, i cold turkey withdrew myself from caffeine. i had become dependent and found that i was compensating for its side effects (teeth whitening tooth paste for yellowed coffee stained teeth (that's totally hot), trying to come up w/ non-caffeine related reasons while my breastesses might be achy (TMI?), the awful headaches when coming down from it, etc, etc). now it's been about a week and a half, and the headaches and cold sweats are mostly gone. i still allow myself decaf lattes and such (to all my starbucks benefactors, a million coffee breath kisses...). i'm also working out and watching my diet. not as strictly as i soon will, but better. we bought wii fit, which is pretty much the coolest thing ever, and i've been compulsively playing that...and i might even go back to my gym sometime soon (for the last few months i've looked at my membership fee like a donation to the thin, tan, pretty people who work there). and i'm making more time for God and exploring my faith. that should put me back on track.
so ANYway...my cases have been good. i had a cool 22 year old guy today who was having his gall bladder removed after he lost 170# in the last year. (gall stones are really common after significant weight loss). he did it all by diet and exercise. a very strict diet, mind you. a liquid diet, prescribed and monitored by a physician in a program....but still. he had intended to get gastric bypass- they told him he had to try to lose weight on his own first, and this is what he did. 100 and 70 whole pounds! we all ooh'd and aah'd all over him for his amazing accomplishment. he said he hoped we'd see him soon for a tummy tuck to get rid of all the excess skin. he was really cool. although, he did request to keep his gall stones. is that common? do any of you out there have gall stones that you wear on a necklace or something? it seemed like an odd request to me, but the doc said he hears it all the time.
just for the record, anything that comes out of me, can stay out. black market, trophy cabinet, whatever. i just don't really want it back.
one last thing...it seems like everyone i know is talking about becoming a PA these days. it's a good trend to be on. is anyone out there who reads this blog thinking about PA school? in PA school now? already a PA? i'd love to hear from you. post me a message.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Knee Bone's Connected to the Head Bone, the....Oh, wait...
new job. good stuff. having fun so far. everyone's being exceedingly nice to me. i wonder if/when the other shoe-covered shoe will drop. they all seem to remember me from when i was a student...which is really flattering, since i was there last september and they go through about 25 students a year. but things are different now. they're invested in me. and they don't drill me with questions, but patiently, kindly answer mine as they come up. and unlike when i was a student, they want to know my personality, who i am. not just that i know how to not break sterile field or how not to trip on myself.
and it's the dream first job- they're giving me all the time in the world to learn what i need to learn- i have several months to get comfortable on all the different surgeries (again, recall we're talking about operating with some 20 different surgeons who all have different methods, and these surgeries range from thyroid to breast to hip to gall bladder to eyelids to heart to veins to brain...anything and everything). PLUS, i will learn how to be competent in internal medicine/surgical followup as i follow patients on the floor post-operatively...and i will learn to put central lines in, feeding tubes, difficult foley catheterizations, etc, etc.
and i love being in scrubs all day every day. i wake up in the morning (at about 5:15am-that part does suck), shower, throw my hair in a ponytail, put on jeans, and go to work. it's great. now all my clothing budget (right...) can go towards fun clothes, not work clothes. speaking of buying fun clothes, i treated myself to a new fancy winter coat that's semi practical and semi totally awesome. it's from H & M and is a bone color with big buttons and other fun features. i can't link to it, cuz their website is all fashion ad wizardry with videos and nothing functional, but trust me when i tell you, it's a very cool coat. i guess i just can't get enough of new white coats. :)
what else? did i mention that they're paying me bunches of money to be elbow deep in intestines every day? it's pretty awesome.
as i said, everyone's being pretty nice to me so far, BUT there are a lot of 'different' personalities in the OR. surgery is kind of notorious for attracting larger-than-life egos. and i've certainly encountered some of them. most of the PA's (there are 25 of us) are wonderful. most of the other staff (surgeons, scrub and circulating nurses, techs, etc) are also wonderful and helpful. but i worked with the #1 most notoriously moody and vicious surgeon on 6 cases on friday. he was kind of nasty to me a few times when i neglected to properly read his mind, but overall, things went fine. i'm in such a great mood with this fantastic new job and having passed my boards, that there wasn't much he could do to mess that up. plus, i am pretty good at letting things roll off of me. and there's lots of support from the other PA's. i'll always be able to vent if i need to. but there are stories (more like the stuff of lores) of surgeons throwing charts at people's heads, kicking staff out of the OR in a fury, scrub nurses smacking students, the list goes on.
i think i can handle it. we'll see. if you ever find me huddled under a desk in the fetal position, rocking and softly singing "when the dog bites, when the bees sting....", please just bring me some graham crackers and tell me everything is going to be ok. :)
by the way, in case it wasn't clear from my last manic post, i passed my boards and am now licensed. my official title is PA-C, which means PA-certified. i also have an MS, but nobody cares about that in the clinical setting. so now that i'm licensed, i'm working on getting my prescribing license and provider ID and stuff in place. boo-ya.
and it's the dream first job- they're giving me all the time in the world to learn what i need to learn- i have several months to get comfortable on all the different surgeries (again, recall we're talking about operating with some 20 different surgeons who all have different methods, and these surgeries range from thyroid to breast to hip to gall bladder to eyelids to heart to veins to brain...anything and everything). PLUS, i will learn how to be competent in internal medicine/surgical followup as i follow patients on the floor post-operatively...and i will learn to put central lines in, feeding tubes, difficult foley catheterizations, etc, etc.
and i love being in scrubs all day every day. i wake up in the morning (at about 5:15am-that part does suck), shower, throw my hair in a ponytail, put on jeans, and go to work. it's great. now all my clothing budget (right...) can go towards fun clothes, not work clothes. speaking of buying fun clothes, i treated myself to a new fancy winter coat that's semi practical and semi totally awesome. it's from H & M and is a bone color with big buttons and other fun features. i can't link to it, cuz their website is all fashion ad wizardry with videos and nothing functional, but trust me when i tell you, it's a very cool coat. i guess i just can't get enough of new white coats. :)
what else? did i mention that they're paying me bunches of money to be elbow deep in intestines every day? it's pretty awesome.
as i said, everyone's being pretty nice to me so far, BUT there are a lot of 'different' personalities in the OR. surgery is kind of notorious for attracting larger-than-life egos. and i've certainly encountered some of them. most of the PA's (there are 25 of us) are wonderful. most of the other staff (surgeons, scrub and circulating nurses, techs, etc) are also wonderful and helpful. but i worked with the #1 most notoriously moody and vicious surgeon on 6 cases on friday. he was kind of nasty to me a few times when i neglected to properly read his mind, but overall, things went fine. i'm in such a great mood with this fantastic new job and having passed my boards, that there wasn't much he could do to mess that up. plus, i am pretty good at letting things roll off of me. and there's lots of support from the other PA's. i'll always be able to vent if i need to. but there are stories (more like the stuff of lores) of surgeons throwing charts at people's heads, kicking staff out of the OR in a fury, scrub nurses smacking students, the list goes on.
i think i can handle it. we'll see. if you ever find me huddled under a desk in the fetal position, rocking and softly singing "when the dog bites, when the bees sting....", please just bring me some graham crackers and tell me everything is going to be ok. :)
by the way, in case it wasn't clear from my last manic post, i passed my boards and am now licensed. my official title is PA-C, which means PA-certified. i also have an MS, but nobody cares about that in the clinical setting. so now that i'm licensed, i'm working on getting my prescribing license and provider ID and stuff in place. boo-ya.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
First Day as a Big Kid
so tired. head hurts. but good first day. everyone is treating me like an actual person instead of a student, which is pretty boss. i did four cases today w/ PA supervision. fun, fun. i didn't pass out or totally blow it, and since they're not pimping me much, i'm not having too many opportunities to make a fool out of myself. yet.
it felt a lot like my first day of my freshman year of high school. not only did i take a lunch in a little baggie, but i had to fight with my locker combination, like, 6 time to get it to open. and then i didn't know where to sit at lunch time, since i don't have a clique yet. and the icing on the metaphor is that there's construction going on at man's best hospital (MBH), so they're making all employees park in a church parking lot, like, 2 mls away...and 'bussing' us in on shuttles. at least, since we all wear scrubs, the popular girls weren't way better dressed than me.
so i'll either have great news tomorrow after i get my boards results or the next post you get will be a notification from my husband, telling you how i fled on a floating engine-less chevy raft to south america and will never be heard from again. if that happens, please send my poor man some money, because he'll have a bitch of a time paying back my loans on his own. now that i think about it, in some parts of south america, there's probably no good translation for "practically a doctor, practically" so i'd have to tell them i'm an actual MD...or a healer or something. i could be quite lucrative at this. and tan. hmmmm....
it felt a lot like my first day of my freshman year of high school. not only did i take a lunch in a little baggie, but i had to fight with my locker combination, like, 6 time to get it to open. and then i didn't know where to sit at lunch time, since i don't have a clique yet. and the icing on the metaphor is that there's construction going on at man's best hospital (MBH), so they're making all employees park in a church parking lot, like, 2 mls away...and 'bussing' us in on shuttles. at least, since we all wear scrubs, the popular girls weren't way better dressed than me.
so i'll either have great news tomorrow after i get my boards results or the next post you get will be a notification from my husband, telling you how i fled on a floating engine-less chevy raft to south america and will never be heard from again. if that happens, please send my poor man some money, because he'll have a bitch of a time paying back my loans on his own. now that i think about it, in some parts of south america, there's probably no good translation for "practically a doctor, practically" so i'd have to tell them i'm an actual MD...or a healer or something. i could be quite lucrative at this. and tan. hmmmm....
Monday, September 8, 2008
Not Much to Report....Ho Hum.
orientation today and yesterday. it was a general orientation for all new employees in all departments in all facilities. so i haven't had any actual surgical orientation yet. i did get my pager today, which i have enough experience to know, makes you feel like a super star crime fighter for the first few days and then eventually like you're on a ticked-off tether.
the orientations were corporate, but very inspiring and uplifting. this is a thriving, very well respected and successful hospital company (in fact, i think i will steal from samuel shem and henceforth refer to it as "man's best hospital") that i'll be working for. it offers its employees a lot of amazing amenities and a very competitive benefits/salary package...including things like concierge service where they'll go let your dog out of your house or get an oil change for your car, pick up your dry cleaning, or "anything at all"...i thought this was really awesome. i want to try to think of something really strange to have them do-like take my husband out for our anniversary dinner...or take a hit out on someone i don't like. i wonder exactly what "anything at all" means... i'll let you know what i find out.
anyway. i was never a girl scout (umm....really??) and i have never worked in a certain mega-store that i will not name that originated in the south and is known for its abuse of national resources and flagrant brain-washing employee indoctrination methods and is owned by a certain amsay altonway.....but i imagine that these orientations were kind of a combination of girl scout troupe meetings and aforementioned brain-washings. there was a lot of "hooray! we're the best ones" and repeating mission statements and even drawings of our hospital represented as a boat compared to other local competitors' hospitals represented as other boats (guess who's won the boat race? that's right! cuz WE'RE THE BEST!). but there was also a heavy focus on working as a unified team, committing to honor and be loyal to our work family and most definitely to the safety and well-being of our patients.
those darned HR people made me cry on two occasions. one, when we were talking patient safety, they showed a gut-wrenching video of a speech made by the mother of an 18 month old girl named josie king, who died at the hands of doctors and nurses at johns hopkins. the family started a foundation focusing on patient safety, medication administration precautions, and staff accountability. it was powerful. and they are brave. and it only serve to fuel my absolute terror that i will be in a position where i can kill people. i just keep saying a little chant to myself, "for the love of all things holy, please let someone catch me when i'm about to mess up good, please let someone catch me when..."
AND THEN, they showed us a video this morning as we discussed customer service...about this wonderfully kind, loving, hopeful, and thoughtful guy with down's syndrome named johnny (embedded is a short summary of it, not the actual dramatization that i watched). sniff. he's just so full of sunshine...sniff...and love...(big sobs here).
so anyway...i am now oriented to "man's best hospital" and tomorrow i'll finally be in the OR, being oriented on how to be a surgical PA. i'm terrified. i can't even totally put my finger on what's scaring me....other than that i don't remember any anatomy, how to suture, how to tie knots, how to write prescriptions, how to control blood pressure, my name.....and i'm still going berserker (a "clerks" reference, that i am NOT going to link) about my exam. 2 more days until i know if all this orienting is for naught.
the orientations were corporate, but very inspiring and uplifting. this is a thriving, very well respected and successful hospital company (in fact, i think i will steal from samuel shem and henceforth refer to it as "man's best hospital") that i'll be working for. it offers its employees a lot of amazing amenities and a very competitive benefits/salary package...including things like concierge service where they'll go let your dog out of your house or get an oil change for your car, pick up your dry cleaning, or "anything at all"...i thought this was really awesome. i want to try to think of something really strange to have them do-like take my husband out for our anniversary dinner...or take a hit out on someone i don't like. i wonder exactly what "anything at all" means... i'll let you know what i find out.
anyway. i was never a girl scout (umm....really??) and i have never worked in a certain mega-store that i will not name that originated in the south and is known for its abuse of national resources and flagrant brain-washing employee indoctrination methods and is owned by a certain amsay altonway.....but i imagine that these orientations were kind of a combination of girl scout troupe meetings and aforementioned brain-washings. there was a lot of "hooray! we're the best ones" and repeating mission statements and even drawings of our hospital represented as a boat compared to other local competitors' hospitals represented as other boats (guess who's won the boat race? that's right! cuz WE'RE THE BEST!). but there was also a heavy focus on working as a unified team, committing to honor and be loyal to our work family and most definitely to the safety and well-being of our patients.
those darned HR people made me cry on two occasions. one, when we were talking patient safety, they showed a gut-wrenching video of a speech made by the mother of an 18 month old girl named josie king, who died at the hands of doctors and nurses at johns hopkins. the family started a foundation focusing on patient safety, medication administration precautions, and staff accountability. it was powerful. and they are brave. and it only serve to fuel my absolute terror that i will be in a position where i can kill people. i just keep saying a little chant to myself, "for the love of all things holy, please let someone catch me when i'm about to mess up good, please let someone catch me when..."
AND THEN, they showed us a video this morning as we discussed customer service...about this wonderfully kind, loving, hopeful, and thoughtful guy with down's syndrome named johnny (embedded is a short summary of it, not the actual dramatization that i watched). sniff. he's just so full of sunshine...sniff...and love...(big sobs here).
so anyway...i am now oriented to "man's best hospital" and tomorrow i'll finally be in the OR, being oriented on how to be a surgical PA. i'm terrified. i can't even totally put my finger on what's scaring me....other than that i don't remember any anatomy, how to suture, how to tie knots, how to write prescriptions, how to control blood pressure, my name.....and i'm still going berserker (a "clerks" reference, that i am NOT going to link) about my exam. 2 more days until i know if all this orienting is for naught.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
