i know it's been a while since i've blogged. (thank you, lindsay, for reading and for the friendly reminder!). i haven't had too many exciting things happen to me at work recently (thank you, GOD) and...well, the world seems like a very depressing place right now, so i'm struggling to come up with fun, happy material. there are a lot of things that make me sad right now.
i'll elaborate on the reasons for my angst....not necessarily in order of importance:
-the crappy economy. sweet baby (8 lb 6 oz) Jesus. all everyone is talking about is how desperate things are. if you believe the media, we'll all be homeless sleeping in cardboard boxes by the end of the summer and driving our pogo sticks to work every morning because they aren't manufactured by unions. but wait! we won't have jobs to go to because everyone is going out of business. starbucks will be forced to take the crack out of their coffee because the overhead is too high, strippers will have to use second hand pasties and find a way to accept small coins instead of dollar bills (maybe a fanny pack?), and hospitals will be forced to sell their MRI machines to the few remaining rich people who have been dying to see what the inside of their rich butts look like. and we'll only have our cardboard boxes if we can continue mining paper from the middle east. and we'll only have a place to put them if the stimulus package doesn't use all the good squatting street corners and overpasses for subsidized lemonade stands for kids.
-swine flu.
-news this week is full of stories about parents killing their children. sad, desperate, awful stories. kids found buried in fields and sandboxes...just ick. . and then there's the mom who took off w/ her kid with cancer mid treatment (more on this later). yikes.
-Tasmanian devils are now endangered because they're dying out from a contagious facial cancer. (i am not making this up).
-i just went to cnn.com (my favorite source for news that makes me want to jump off a bridge) and one of the headlines is "man sucker-punches blind woman on bus." seriously. is the world ending? is this the sign of the apocolypse?
-bea arthur is dead.
-people are being tortured in the name of peace.
-and lastly, they're remaking "footloose" and "drop dead fred." NEED I SAY MORE??!!!?? no, but i will. DDF won the Academy Award for the Best Movie Ever Made. there is NOTHING that can be improved upon from the original phoebe cates/rik mayall/carrie fisher version by adding russell brand (as fred). and &a^#@ ZAC EFRON DOES NOT MAKE KEVIN BACON!!! even with your little upturned bacon-y nose- you are nothing but an impostor! oh, my word. i'm going to go rock and cry under a table now.
good talk.
*giving credit where it's due- i slipped in a few "talledega nights" quotes into the text. will ferrell does not make me sad.
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