I Don't Understand Women, Even Though I Am a Women.

this was said by my littlest sister back when she was about 7 yrs old and we were watching some movie where the woman was storming around and yelling at her man and the man was pulling his hair out exclaiming that he didn't understand women. it was adorable then...claiming in her little squeaky voice that she was "a women."

but i find the sentiment to hold up now. i am feeling very sorry for and angry toward women kind right now. firstly, i did some plastic surgery last week on a woman who had had about 6 previous operations to fix her body. and it was just never going to be good enough for her. she had an image in her mind's eye of a body that wasn't hers. and no matter how much she tried to change it, there was just no way. but she'd keep risking infection, going through painful recovery, and spending the money to try, try, try to be someone else. argh.

THEN one of my coworkers gave me a few back issues of a certain women's magazine (i won't name- you know who you are) that i've always accused of secretly being written by men/for men through women. ie: here are some of the article titles- "what sex feels like for guys," "8 things in your closet that make you look chunky," "new guy? our classic seduction trick will keep him hooked," "how to deal when your man gets moody," etc, etc. and they've got man trap tricks in there (although they don't word them that way- they call the section something like "finding mr. right in new and creative ways" or some crap)...giving helpful examples such as when you're at the grocery store and you spot a cutie behind you in line, drop your earing discretely in your bag and then grab your ear and frantically say you lost your earring and that you need his help to find it. he's supposed to swoop in and save the day and start a conversation that will bloom into love in no time. in reality, you'd slow down the cashier as you foibled around and probably get dirty looks from both the object of your obsession and all the other customers in line for being an idiot and talking to strangers who are just there trying to shop.

THEN i'm reading a book called "wideacre" by philippa gregory (author of "the other boleyn girl") and it's all about how back in the day women had no right to land or inheritence just because they had ovaries instead of testicles. and this particular lead female character is so stunted and frustrated by this injustice that she kills both her parents, shtups her brother and bears his children, mames her lover, and frames her husband. not that her motives can entirely be blamed- but what a wicked, awful depiction of a woman! i think i'm done reading this one. no mas.

THEN, of course, there's the recent celebrity news story- that you will have heard about unless you're living comfortably under a news-free rock- about two beautiful young r & b stars so madly in love that when he very publicly kicks the shit out of her and leaves her for dead on the side of the road, she takes him back. there are lots of rumors circling that she has since married him and/or is having his child. at the very least, it is verified that she is open to contact from him and is not pressing charges. dear God. when are women going to evolve to be bigger than men? when is it our turn to take out all our rage on 'the weaker sex?' obviously humans still resolve conflict with violence, so how do we fix that women always get the raw end of this?(i'm of course generalizing and don't endorse violence from/to anyone...but i'm uber frustrated by the whole thing).

so i'm just disenchanted with what it means to be a woman right now. both past and present, our situations and our selves have caused us to be less than confident, less than respectable, less than admirable. i guess i can just try to define what being my woman means, and hope to help those women around me achieve their most bestest, too...and try to steer them away from paternicide. that doesn't seem the way to go.

but all you men out there- if some lady in front of you at the store "loses her earring" don't buy it! she's out to get you! hide your children!