Hands and The Hippies They're Attached To

i've alluded/eluded/ihategrammar to this in previous posts-- that hands are a huge part of my life. first of all...and, brace yourselves because i'm about to go down a rabbit hole here and hope you don't take this to mean that i think i'm a voodoo priestess or anything...BUT... i've been told all my life that i have a very 'healing' or 'energizing' touch. exhibit A: friends, family, patients, (strangers, when i'm feeling especially cheeky) have always voiced that they've found a lot of comfort from my hand holding and touch. exhibit B: whenever we did the 'pass the energy ball' team building game in theater classes (i cannot believe how much embarrassing dirt you people have on me, seriously), i always seemed to 'shock' the person next to me w/ whatever flow was coming through my hand to theirs. exhibit C: my even hippier-than-me friend once read our energies or chakras or colors or something. it was a long time ago, so i don't remember it very clearly, other than that it was cool and that the descriptions of our matching colors based on our personality profiles were pretty accurate...and that my energy source was based in my hands and that i was a healer.

(i did not express that well, and if said friend is reading this post, by all means, chip in to make sense out of my jibber jabber).

so, anyway...as i entered a career in surgery, i was aware that my hands might have some 'divine power' in them. and in my career previously and so far as a PA, i have used them to hold, rub, pat and generally provide comfort and love. so i'm hoping that once my skills are up to snuff, i will pass healing power through them into surgery.

in surgery, my hands are used for everything. to hold, tie, pinch, grasp, sew, stop bleeding, insert lines and catheters, cut, burn, provide tension ...everything. their not having palsy has been a plus this week as i've been on a few very picky, tricky vascular cases- working on aortic aneurisms and vascular grafts, etc.

and today, with the MEANEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD (MDITW), my hands were blessings as they didn't shake too terribly as he withered my fragile self esteem and yelled at me for not being able to predict his next move and simultaneously evacuate smoke and retract and provide visuals. my hands also did not punch him in the neck, for the record, when he expressed that it annoyed him that i lean my head to the side when trying to see better by just bellowing to me "HEAD!!" or "STAND UP STRAIGHT!!" (last week i was feeling like i'm getting paid too much to do what i do..not so much today).

and lastly, my hands have been quite sick this last few months. i have terrible eczema and they've been painfully dry and broken...so much so that the 10 times a day i wash them makes me practically weep as all the tiny wounds get scrubbed. so i've been dealing with that. better now, with topical and oral steroids, but still thick scarred tissue and a few big red marks. not much fun. and these hands are my money maker now, so i have to look out for them.

i'm also more careful than i used to me when chopping vegetables at home, etc.

so that's my story on my upper appendages.

i've had quite a day, so i'm off to drink myself into a mild stupor while i cook for my relatives visiting this weekend. tra-la.