I Can't Believe It's Over

so for weeks i've been feeling burned out and tired and desperately wanting a week without thinking about medicine. completely without thoughts of - is that drug excreted by the liver or kidneys? -could this thing on the patient's skin be a carbuncle or a pile? (i like those words and make it a practice of thinking/saying them, even though there are actual official names for them).

i've just been worn out. unhealthy in my head, my body. drinking caffeine all day long- even in my water a few days ago (eck!), eating unhealthy food...and watching TV instead of studying/spending time outside. and let's not forget flat, stone-cold broke! it's been great that all year we've managed to keep a little something in savings for a rainy day despite my not working (for things like flooded basement/broken car exhaust system/mission trips, etc). but because of events like these, we are now depleted. i know we'll be fine (this is NOT a plea to my family/friends to send us cash, it's really not). it's just that i like having a little cushion (the MONEY kind, not the kind that develops from my sitting around watching TV and eating junk food). i'll be so glad to actually get paid...i keep trying to remind myself, things might be tight now, but very soon we'll be very comfy. and we are so blessed. we've never really wanted for anything, even on the one income over these last few expensive years of school. and we "own" a house (as in, have paid off something like 4 percent of our house- i think we own the sink in the upstairs bathroom outright...maybe).

so all that whining is to say that i'm feeling really sad that this is my last day. it feels so final. no longer a student. leaving the MD and his staff who i've spent 3 months with over this year and the hospital in which i spent 5 months...i had to drop my badge off today...and say goodbye to the nurses and docs i've gotten close to. i spent the last $2.72 of my starbucks gift card today on an iced latte in the starbucks in the hospital. cleaning out that reliable account seemed like an official end. (by the way, this IS a plea to my family/friends to send starbucks money-i'm not too proud to beg).

so i'm emotional. excited, but a bit sad. one more exam on monday and then graduation next friday (the 15th)- assuming all goes well. i have to say that last part. it's like a superstitious thing- and you couldn't see me, but i just "tsu tsu" spit on the floor to keep me safe from curses. :)

i have a request. i am going on vacation between graduation and the time i take my boards exam in september. (leaving myself a week on each side to study). i want to read some totally non-medical books while on vacation. i mean, i don't want a hospital in site of the setting of the book and the characters should not have as much as alopecia or halitosis. if anyone can recommend something well-written, fun, maybe funny...that would be awesome. i'd appreciate it.

and now i must go drown my sorrows in this cake. this is not a picture i pulled off the interweb. this is actually the cake that the staff at the MD's office gave me as a going away present. amazing. it's about 10 inches tall and so decadent! the pics probably don't do it justice. and it had a little confectionery sign on the top that wished me good luck. i already ate that through sugary tears. :)