flashbacks a plenty as a group of fellow students came over yesterday to study for our upcoming practical exam. my house being centrally located and us not having any kids to worry about interfering with their lives, mine was usually the place in which we all met to study last year during our didactic classes. being all back together, getting ready for this next big exam (tomorrow/monday, big practical exam where we demonstrate our exam/diagnostic/treatment skills on fake patients while being graded by professors), reminded me of the frantic days of studying last year. it was bittersweet thinking that this would be the last time we would gather en mass at my house.
one of my bestest school friends lives way out in the middle of nowhereville and so, for studying convenience, he stayed w/ us on many a weekend last year. he came and hung out before and after our study session yesterday, and it felt just like old times. sigh. i'll miss that.
and we sat around and ate that beautiful cake and laughed until our stomachs hurt, sharing stories about how our lives were last year when we studied/panicked all the time, and how our lives were this year as PA students in the real world.
as far as last year goes- the program i attend is pretty cut throat. not just to get in, but once you're in, many people didn't make it through...it is set up so that on each exam that you take, failing out of the program is always just a few points away. so...we had many rituals to our study. we were an extremely superstitious bunch. in the days leading up to our big exams we all had certain dietary restrictions (a few people admitted that they had to eat on the morn of every big exam the same food they happened to eat on the morning of the FIRST exam), sleep restrictions, places to visit/avoid (one of my study buddies and i sweated bullets when we changed from our regular coffee shop to a restaurant elsewhere), people we had to talk to/avoid, loving we had to have/avoid, even our bowel functions were tightly controlled around exam time...we actually accumulated these into a list and presented them on video to this year's incoming class as a warning of the neurosis that would develop in their lives during that stressful year.
regarding this year...we regaled each other w/ stories from our antics in clinicals. we heard a similar story to mine of erupting cysts- but covering HIS cheek and neck instead of the doc's he was with. another took a needle full of valium in the back of his neck, from a clumsy student nurse. other people had lost things, said dumb things, given the wrong patient the wrong advice, etc, etc, etc. it was comforting to know i wasn't the only buffoon pretending to know what i was doing this year. it felt really good to have everyone together. and everyone is both ecstatic to no longer be students and to wear the official 'long white coat' that means we're PA's, but also terrified of messing up, harming patients, not knowing enough. we're all in the same boat on this.
one of the students is a marine, and he compares the brutal challenges and discipline it took to get through this program to that which he faced in service. that may be a bit of a stretch, but we were definitely put through our paces this last 2 years. and the bond created by surviving something like this together is very strong. we're all different people from widely different backgrounds and heading in different directions, but no matter where we started or will end up, we know we have a few dozen people out there in the world who understand. the PA world is still a small one, even in this relatively large metropolitan area...so i suspect that we'll cross paths again professionally, and of course will do our best to maintain social relationships. i feel a lot more ties to this education than i do to my undergrad one- which is unusual, i think. even though this is a master's program and we're 'graduate students in a highly esteemed clinical program' (herumph!), i kind of wish we had yearbooks or class rings or something to commemorate this.
so...one last major exam tomorrow (will we make? don't know! better eat my ritual pig's heart and call my 2nd cousin twice removed at exactly 10:42pm for luck!), big party with all us students thursday night, then graduation with friends and families on friday.
i'll keep you posted on all the tears, fears, and cheers.
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