The Miracle of Birth

so today was a crazy long day. the doc i'm with was on-call for new admissions in the ER last night (for patients unassigned to other docs), so we had a bunch of admissions to do first thing this morning. then i went and shadowed a PA in OB/GYN for a while at a different hospital, then came back and saw more patients and ran around like an unproductive chicken with its head cut off. (although i wonder how many headless chickens actually get stuff done).

so i've determined i don't like chest pain and bloody bowels enough to do internal medicine all the time. i just want more and more to do women's health. that's it. i promise that i word this differently when i'm talking to potential employers, but the truth is, when it comes down to it, i just want to deal with women and their broken hoo-ha's and baby growing/hatching. one way or the other, i have to find work in it. i think that waking up every day to work in that field would make me feel really accomplished and happy.

and on that note, i saw a commercial last night that referred to "the miracle of birth" and i was thinking- the way that humans are created and grow and most often come out as little perfect human beans is truly miraculous. but the actual BIRTH? i know i've talked a lot about how gory it can be- but the word "miracle" makes me think of pastoral scenes of angels singing and lambs frolicking and stuff. in fact....

a "miracle," as defined by Webster, is " An extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs" and its origins are from the latin word 'miraculum' which means 'a wonder or marvel.'

a google images search for "the miracle of birth" gave me lots of helpful pictures such as this hyah below and other cutesy baby pics and links to several animal husbandry sites, a placenta cookbook (don't do it), and even one link to a very strange hair metal band.

but in the births i've seen there is much more stretching, tearing, moaning, screaming, panicking, aching, and even hitting and biting than there is singing and frolicking. 9 months is a long time to grow a parasite inside of you as it zaps your resources, stretches every ligament and muscle you have, maybe even separates your bones and compresses your nerves....then when you start feeling like you can't stand it any longer, you can look forward to multiple hours of ripping pain such that you've never felt...so bad that when we ask a patient to classify their, say, heart attack pain or hemorrhaging brain pain, we ask them to use labor pain as a '10 out of 10.' and to top it all off--- when you're FINally contracting and pushing successfully and bearing down hard like you're having a bowel movement- you might, in fact, have a bowel movement- often with eager family members cheering you on/videotaping the whole ordeal.

charming.

so, i guess i tell you this not to scare you into celibacy or anything, but just to reiterate how challenging birthing is and how important it is to have a comforting, competent person (me) at the bedside. there are so many opportunities to positively effect the experience of women in labor. and this is why i want to be part of this incredible process. for as unholy and gruesome as it can seem, the outcome is absolutely amazing. so much so, that women (those crazy and sturdy, durable and heroic beings) often choose to do that whole thing i listed above MORE THAN ONCE.

now that's a miraculum.