And They're Funky, Too

there is a lot of stink that comes from babies and children. while the "baby smell" of fresh new skin gets all the press, there are all kinds of odors from in front, in back, on bottom and top that really can put a person off her lunch. and i think all little boys over the age of 5 should get odor eater foot treatments in their stockings each year for Christmas. perhaps i should write santa clause about it. or maybe amend the nativity story to include it ("and the three wise men brought the baby Jesus gold, frankincense, myrrh, and Arm and Hammer Baking Soda Odor Eaters Specially Formulated for the Active Little Savior.").

it's been a good week so far (despite the smells). i still am having a lot of fun re-learning spanish. and i've now seen a lot of derm issues i haven't previously seen on actual patients, but merely in pictures. things like flea bites, scabies, pityriasis rosea and alba, moluscum contagiosum, seborrheic dermatitis, etc. it's hard to tell them all apart, but the MD is a great teacher.

it's kind of slow at the clinic right now- we're only seeing maybe a dozen patients per day. so i have lots of time to get to know the staff. they are mostly black and hispanic and pretty much all have children. so we've been having some interesting conversations about how different cultures raise their kids. things like how long is "normal" to breast feed (all agreed that the 5 year old who came in still sucking at the teet the other day is WAY overdo) and what "spoiled" means.

i find myself feeling like a barren old maid sometimes. i often get a look of pity from people when i tell them i don't have kids (tienes 27 años!! y no bebes? ay, pobrecita abuelita!). and i feel like i need to emphasize the word "YET" and i quickly rush into a "but-we're-planning-on-it-as- soon-as i-finish-school-and-it-will-be-ok-and-my-kids-won't-be-THAT-much-mutated- because-i-waited-to-have them-until-i-was-GASP, SHOCK-in-my-30's." maybe i'm a bit defensive. what do you think? they were also telling stories today about how after having kids, their boobs shrunk, their feet got bigger, they're no longer totally continent, and they have new food allergies they never had before. i should have said, "oh, really? cuz i have a nice rack, delicate pixie feet, never whiz on myself, and can eat whatever the hell i like." yea. take that. hah! what's wrong with me? why don't i have babies already???? sob. :)

so anyway....one more thing.....i have a friend who is considering going to PA school to get his degree. so for him and anyone out there considering medicine- let this story entice you. this morning on my way to the clinic i got pulled over by a cop because i went speeding through a yellow light (ok, maybe more like orangeish-red). before he approached, i threw my white coat over the passenger seat next to me to be sure that he could see that i was an officer of health, and when he asked me where i was going in such a hurry, i said "the pediatric clinic" in a way that led him to believe that they were depending on me to go and save tiny little lives. a few minutes later, when he was back in the cop car w/ my license and registration and stuff, he called me on the intercom thingy from his car to walk back there. my first thought was, "oh, sweet shit. he's going to throw me in jail for impersonating a doctor" but when i got to the cop car, he just said, "well, since i'm not going to give you a ticket, i thought we could share the cold and each only have to walk in it once." i smiled a charming, dutiful citizen smile, jumped in my car and drove off to go save tiny little lives. (right). this is not the 1st time my medical-ness has gotten me out of trouble w/ the cops. i once was carrying a cooler of blood to the lab from a free clinic and got out of a conflict with the drug enforcement administration, too. (don't ask). think about it, folks. being in medicine with all the schooling, stress, and lawsuits kind of seems more tolerable in the light of the $50 i just dodged, doesn't it?